In a groundbreaking revelation sure to shock absolutely no one, researchers at the Institute of Oversimplified Economics announced today that the world’s largest socialist pyramid scheme has finally been identified, and no, it’s not crypto this time.
According to their study, whenever a worker earns £500, a mysterious government tax gnome immediately appears, gently confiscates the cash, and redistributes it in crisp £100 notes to exactly five individuals designated as “Officially Lazy But a Guaranteed Labour Voter™.”
The process is reportedly seamless:
- The socialist government loses one vote.
- The socialist government gains five votes from the five lazy recipients.
- And the government appointed gnome gains another term in office.
- Rinse and repeat.
“We were stunned,” said lead researcher Dr Sophie Liszt. “For years, people assumed redistribution was complicated. Turns out, it’s just a really enthusiastic gnome with a quota.”
The study further revealed that the recipients of the £100 payments use the money primarily for life essentials such as booze, fags, spliffs, holidays, and subscriptions to streaming services they promise they’ll cancel “next month.”
Political analysts warn that if this trend continues, the Great Socialist Pyramid of Redistribution may soon rival the actual pyramids of Giza, except with more paperwork and fewer mummies.
When asked what citizens should do about this alarming discovery, Dr Sophie Liszt offered clear advice:
“Honestly? Maybe talk to an actual economist. Preferably, one without socialist government gnomes handing out stolen cash for votes.”
Poor bloke only gets £4,900 a month in benefits and he’s not a scrounged he says. 🤡🤬
Imagine how he’d cope and how much he’d earn by working.🤬 pic.twitter.com/TJPVyJ1bY5
— Matt Casey 🏴 🇬🇧 (@MattCas04807118) November 24, 2025
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