Professor Green, 42, has spoken of the trauma losing his dad had on his life and thinks increase the statutory paternity leave offered to new fathers will inprove attachment
He sold more than three million autobiographical records, wrote bestselling memoirs and fronted intensely personal documentaries covering the men’s mental health crisis, including trying to understand why his dad took his own life.
So for those who have followed Professor Green’s career, it may seem surprising that he believes it is only becoming a father himself, to five-year-old Slimane, that has forced him to confront his own feelings head on.
It is why the 42-year-old rapper, whose real name is Stephen Manderson, is supporting the charity Movember campaign to increase the statutory paternity leave offered to new dads. He tells the Mirror: “It was having a kid and being around my child that taught me to learn to sit with my feelings, versus just to act them out.”
Read All About It rapper Stephen was raised in East London by his grandmother after his parents separated. His dad Peter was 43 when he took his own life, with the rapper having to formally identify his body in 2008, which he explored in a 2015 BBC documentary.
However, he still struggled to take on board his own findings. He explains: “When I finished the suicide documentary, which was me looking at why my dad might have taken his own life, the point that I got to at the end was that the difference between someone who will take life and won’t is the ability to tolerate how they feel at any given time.
“I said that, but it was entirely cerebral – it wasn’t integrated. I left and carried on being reactive – acting out my feelings.
“Then my son was old enough to begin what people would call ‘tantruming’ – it’s really just them expressing themselves, and having quite a difficult time and not having the skills or the tools to communicate.
“This is the point where most parents lose their s*** as well. If I do that, I’m not setting an example of what he’s feeling being tolerable. That just tells him: whatever you’re feeling will never be tolerable, because the adults you’re learning from can’t tolerate their feelings. My feeling was, I have to learn how to do this and I had to expedite it quite quickly.”
He believes the 10 days of paternity leave available to men is insufficient to allow this sort of development. He continues: “It was only the time that I had with him, and being available, being open and having that time that allowed me to learn that.
“As a man, historically and more stereotypically, we’ve gone through detachment. It feeds into that age-old stereotype of a dad on the weekends who doesn’t know his head from his arse. It’s not fair and it’s not healthy.
“For me, having had the luxury of a lot of time with my little boy, that has allowed me to understand the importance of that. I don’t have the perspective of being detached, but I can imagine it wouldn’t bode so well.”
It is a topic he touched upon with agents on Celebs Go Dating, which saw his “powerful” appearance praised by viewers as he admitted struggling to lead by example as a father.
Stephen, who was diagnosed with autism and ADHD in his thirties, was inundated with support from families who related to what he said. He explains: “It was mostly dads and mums who appreciated the understanding, because they never had a window into it. To think that that’s positively impacted other people’s relationships at home is crazy.
“The first conversation that I had at the agency, and the reason I did it, was so I could lean into the agency conversations. That was my motive for doing it. You won’t see all of that, because they couldn’t put out three hours of me sitting down talking to them, but each of those conversations was hours long.
“It was really really, really helpful – they were really great and really supportive throughout.” Revealing he previously turned down an appearance on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here, he admits he would now consider more reality shows, as a result.
“I feel differently about that stuff now,” he says. “When I was asked to do I’m a Celeb at the peak of my musical success – before the documentaries, before everything else – reality TV still had a really weird vibe around it. And it wasn’t necessarily a great thing to do, if everything else was working.
“Whereas now, maybe it’s the age I’m at, maybe it’s just the change in landscape, I think then it was abstract to do that when everything else was working – it was quite odd. Whereas now, I think the landscape’s changed because people are so familiar with reality TV and as long as you’re yourself, it is real – it doesn’t become structured reality.”
On Monday, celebrities including footballer Troy Deeney and rugby and Strictly Come Dancing star Ugo Monde and MPs from Labour and the Liberal Democrats for five-a-side football games lasting 10 minutes at a time to represent the 10 days of statutory paternity leave available for men currently.
Stephen believes there should be more support available for dads. “They focus so much on what they lose now rather than what they gain later,” he says of the UK’s setup.
“The games are 10 minutes long to represent the 10 working days that dads are currently entitled to have off when their kids are born – it sounds silly even saying it. That feeling – anyone who’s left the hospital with a kid, and all you have to have is a car seat – it’s crazy.”
On the dating series, he spoke candidly about his guilt over looking for love, as he was still “grieving” his relationship with Hijack actress ex- Karima McAdams, who he now co-parents Slimane with following their 2024 split. Without his job allowing him to spend time with Slimane, he adds it would likely have impacted their relationship.
“It would have removed me from understanding any of what Slimane’s mum would have gone through on her own,” he said. “It doesn’t decide on the outcome of a relationship, but I’m sure there’s a lot of positive impact on relationships where people have been able to share responsibility.
“You don’t harbour that resentment because someone else isn’t pulling their weight – and it’s not all someone at home doing everything. I can just imagine that it creates resentment and a feeling of imbalance.”
Movember and paternity leave campaigners The Dad Shift have jointly published ‘Extra Time With Dad: Improving Men’s Health through UK Paternity Leave’ which reveals the scale of the hidden health crisis facing new fathers in a country where fathers are entitled to just 2 weeks’ leave, paid at £194.32 per week – less than half the minimum wage, and the worst offer in Europe, where the average is 8 weeks.
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