The Daily Show host eviscerated the state of Donald Trump’s legislative opposition in a fiery Monday night monologue regarding particulars of ending the government shutdown. Make no mistake, he was at the end of his rope.
“Let’s start tonight’s show with the big news out of Washington on the shutdown,” Stewart began. “By the way, tonight’s show will be brought to you by I can’t fucking believe it. I can’t fucking believe it—for when the ‘I can’t believe it’ Edvard Munch scream emoji doesn’t quite convey how much you cannot fucking believe it.”
Less than two minutes in, Stewart racked up expletives in a way that’s reminiscent of when he broke the record for cursing earlier this summer in response to the cancellation of Stephen Colbert’s The Late Show on CBS.
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“And what, you ask, is ‘it?’” Stewart continued. “Well, ‘it’ is the Democrats—you remember the Democrats. They shut down the government last month for a very particular reason.”
Cue the supercut of Democrats making grand promises that they will not back down from the shutdown unless the Republicans cave to their key demand. That demand was pretty simple: The Republicans proposed a new spending bill—one that would kneecap the current Affordable Care Act (ACA) subsidies that help millions of Americans afford health insurance. Democrats would not vote on approving the bill—thus shutting down the government—unless Republicans agreed to keep the subsidies at least through the end of next year.
This fight between the two parties drags on. The House is finally casting a vote that should officially reopen the government on Tuesday, 42 historic days into the shutdown. Americans suffered during this time. Air travel has been thrown into total chaos, food assistance for 42 million people lost funding, and essential government workers were expected to show up without pay for weeks.
On Sunday night, seven Democrats and one Independent senator split from their party and caved to a deal that did not include funding the ACA through next year. Instead, these traitors were promised the opportunity to vote on the ACA subsidies next year. Even though, as Stewart later pointed out in his monologue, Democrats do not currently have control of the senate. That promise is a nothing burger. The result of this shutdown is nothing short of a total cave-in for the Democratic party.
Stewart explained why in outraged detail. After a clip of Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer declaring that there would be “no fucking way,” they’d reopen the government without the health insurance funding, Stewart unveiled what happened on Sunday.
“Well, funny fucking story,” Stewart said. “Yes. Charles Schumer’s three words were no match for these five words.”
Then a news clip played the announcement: “Democrats cave on the shutdown.”
“They fucking caved on the shutdown, not even—not even a full week removed from the best election night results they’ve had in years,” Stewart spewed. His eyes began to bulge as he continued.
“I cannot fucking believe it!” Stewart yelled. “You had the wind at your back, election victories all over the country, the new Sydney Sweeney movie box office bupkus.”
Using the classic Schoolhouse Rock “I’m Just a Bill” video, Stewart delivered an elementary lesson on why the eight senators’ who agreed to this deal will lose no matter what. Not only would any vote on a bill to fund the ACA need to make it through the senate, then the House (which is currently helmed by MAGA devotee and Speaker Mike Johnson, who Stewart calls “Cowlick McBaby Face”), it would need to be approved by President Donald Trump.
“Democrats, you gave up the only leverage you had without getting commitments from Trump or Mike Johnson,” Stewart said. “I cannot fucking believe it.”
Then in the most depressing part of the segment, Stewart ran through all of the senators who voted “Yes” to reopen the government. In each case, the senator made statements to the press emphasizing the importance of holding out their vote to secure the subsidies.
“You might be wondering to yourself there, well, where’s Democratic Leader, ‘Mr. No Fucking Way, Chuck Schumer,’ during all this? Well, ladies and gentlemen, he is on your social feeds, glasses in the ready position putting on a show,” Stewart said.
A clip of Schumer played, where the senator claimed that he had no part in the disastrous vote. Stewart didn’t buy it.
“I don’t fucking believe this,” Stewart said. “And I mean that now, literally. Chuck Schumer, your protestation be not believable. Look, either all eight senators who voted to capitulate, coincidentally, are not up for reelection in 2026, or Chuck Schumer worked behind the scenes to give into the Republicans while still protecting vulnerable Democrats, including himself.”
In a meta moment, Stewart then played a clip of his own podcast from last week, where he asked his guests how the Democrats could “piss away” the sweeping victory the party had on election night. His entire segment demonstrated exactly how the party accomplished that.
“This is a world-class collapse by Democrats,” Stewart said.
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