“Pathological liar” has become a convenient insult to anyone we love to hate, from corrupt politicians to reality-show “villains.” The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is the latest example, where castmates and viewers alike are lobbing the term at Jen Affleck over earlier claims about her husband’s alleged gambling and her supposed relation to actor Ben Affleck. But what actually qualifies a person’s dishonesty as “pathological”?
Despite the popular image of someone deceitful, conniving and cartoonishly evil, the label only applies to a very small subset of people in reality—and it comes with very specific qualifications. “It’s a behavioural pattern, not a standalone illness recognised in the DSM-5,” says Christina Ni, a Los Angeles–based psychiatrist and the National Interventional Psychiatry Medical Director at Mindpath Health. “And it isn’t simply about deception: The behaviour may look manipulative on the surface, but underneath, it usually reflects deeper psychological distress and vulnerability.”
In other words, a true pathological liar isn’t necessarily someone trying to ruin your life or win every fight—which is why you should watch out for these telltale signs instead.
1. Their lies are compulsive and habitual
Whether it’s a small white lie or a more intentional attempt at dodging accountability, everyone tells a fib now and then. But pathological lying is a near-consistent habit, says Drew Curtis, associate professor of psychology at The University of Texas at Tyler and author of Big Liars: What Psychological Science Tells Us About Lying and How You Can Avoid Being Duped.
“We’re looking at about 9 to 10 lies a day, on average,” says Dr. Curtis, who also leads research on this topic through the Clinical Science and Deception Lab. Essentially, it’s less of a deliberate choice and more of a default, reflexive response.
2. They lie frequently, across situations and topics
No one becomes a pathological liar in a single argument or one-off incident—despite what Demi Engemann might suggest about Affleck on the latest season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. As Dr Curtis explains, this type of lying is a broader, chronic pattern spanning nearly every relationship, situation and topic. That means they don’t just bend the truth with a particular frenemy or embellish their credentials to impress coworkers—a pathological liar will compulsively fib around family, colleagues, at social events and in casual interactions with strangers alike.
3. They don’t have a clear motive
With a term like pathological, it’s easy to assume the person must be lying for attention, power or individual gain. But “unlike strategic lies that serve to avoid punishment or get an advantage, pathological ones provide no obvious benefit,” Dr Ni explains.
In fact, Dr Curtis’s research shows that pathological liars are often unaware that they’re lying. So why do people do it? “To feel worthy, accepted or in control,” Dr Ni says. They might pretend to watch the same shows as friends or claim a favourite colour they don’t actually like—relatively harmless fibs that differ from deliberate manipulation (like gaslighting during an argument) or functional lies (claiming to “love” a friend’s botched haircut or reporting a “lost” package to get a refund).
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