Croc-infested river gets greenlight for Australia Olympics

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The Fitzroy River has reportedly passed a technical assessment for the 2032 Brisbane Games

Olympic organizers have approved a croc-infested river as a venue for rowing and canoeing events at the 2032 Games in Brisbane, Australia, according to local media reports.

The Fitzroy River, some 600km north of Brisbane, was designated as an Olympic venue in March, but faced criticism from national and international organizations that warned the waterway did not meet technical standards. As well as its crocodile population, the river is known for its strong tides.

However, on Tuesday, Queensland state lawmaker Matt Canavan confirmed to the media that the river had successfully passed initial testing by the Games Independent Infrastructure and Coordination Authority (GIICA).

“We now have a green light for rowing in 2032. All the data is in, and there are no longer any barriers to holding rowing events here,” Canavan said.

The official insisted that new data proved the waterway is “flat as a tack,” dismissing safety concerns.

”I mean, if Jesus Christ ever came back to this world, it’s a great place for him, because it’s flat enough to walk on,” he said.

The Fitzroy River is a natural habitat for saltwater crocodiles, with sightings and reports of four-meter-long specimens near a local golf club located within the Olympic and Paralympic competition area. Despite this, the river is reportedly utilized for rowing by schools and a local club, as well as elite training sessions.

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