Was Jeffrey Epstein really a Russian spy squid?

‘Not many people know zis’ – as Franz Liebkind, the demented Nazi hobby playwright character in ‘The Producers’, would have said – but Jeffrey ‘suicide-just-on-time’ Epstein really was a terrific Beluga whale. Or maybe a giant, shapeshifting, hypnotic killer squid. Or just Charlie Sheen.

Impossible? Totally absurd? Absolutely delusional? Mais pas du tout (pardon my French, please)! Because deep down, you see – You do see it, right? – all of these things (and whatever you want to call Charlie) are the same. Namely, manifestations of Russia! And so was Jeffrey Epstein, at least according to a clearly coordinated, ‘the-memo-is-out’ wave of desperate nonsense released by Western propaganda outlets, such as the British Telegraph, the New York Post, the Daily Mail, and the Polish government. Ukrainian and Russian-exile info-warriors, meanwhile, are falling over themselves to jump on the bandwagon – or rather, the (evil) clown car.

The allegations about Russia are so ludicrous that their substance does not merit discussion. Because there is no substance: What we are really seeing is a squalid spectacle of propagandists clutching not at straws but pure nothing, recycling each other’s unfounded and evidence-free claims and resorting to sad, silly tricks so transparent they make you oscillate between laughing, weeping, and a pure unadulterated feeling of cringe.

Meduza, for instance, clickbaits with the headline ‘Who are the Russians named in the latest Epstein files? Vladimir Putin, for one’, and then admits: “there’s no evidence in the released files that a meeting between Putin and Epstein ever took place.” That sort of beyond-desperate BS.

What this latest wave of foul play directed at Moscow really shows is that now, when about half of the Epstein Files have been released – which means we certainly haven’t seen the worst yet, as horrifying as that may be – the sordid ‘elites’ of the West and their servile mainstream media are struggling to manage the fallout. They may even be panicking. That much is understandable.