After seven years of IVF, we turned to a surrogate. It’s been a challenging journey

Designer Şener Besim has had numerous roles in the Australian fashion industry. These days, he is the founder and designer of his eponymous jewellery and clothing label. Here, the 54-year-old father of two talks about the important women in his life, including his wife Kelly, and Mecca founder Jo Horgan, who gave him some invaluable business advice.

My maternal grandmother, Ilmie, raised six kids while managing a tobacco farm in the Balkans. She came to Australia with my grandfather, Qemal, and lived on a fruit orchard with their eldest son in Kyabram, Victoria. I was one of 14 grandchildren; we had a close relationship. Her English was non-existent and my Albanian wasn’t great, but we conversed.

Food was her love language. She was an incredible cook who instilled this in my mother, Feride, and my sister, Julie. She was always humble, hard-working and had a wicked sense of humour. She enjoyed going out and seeing people, and was a great conversationalist with a beautiful smile. Behind the smile, however, was pain; she lived with the grief of losing her 17-year-old son Samit in a car accident six months before I was born.

My paternal grandmother, Gülizar, died when my father, Richard, was 16. She was born in Istanbul and looked beautiful from the photos I have of her. My sister is named after my grandmother, and became known as Julie when she started school. She is 18 months older than me.

My mum came to Australia with my father in 1971. I attribute the healthy relationships I have with women to her. Mum is calm, feminine and beautiful. She worked full-time as a pastry chef, ran the house and took care of us all. I get my work ethic from her. She instilled in me empathy for those less fortunate. My father lavished us with quality products, and together they influenced my love of fashion and beauty.

It’s been a challenging journey, one that not only strengthened our bond and love … but also ignited a passion to be the best parents we can be.

I had a celebrity crush on Deborah Harry in Blondie. She was punk and anti-establishment. How could you ignore those beautiful high cheek bones and her great style?

I joined [fashion brand] Scanlan Theodore in 2000. Co-founder Fiona Scanlan encouraged me to learn about fine art, photography and fashion.

I had a few long-term relationships in my 20s; the longest was three years. I had settled into life as a bachelor, building my career, purchasing a home and was happy going with the flow.

When I met my wife, Kelly, 20 years ago, she changed everything. She was working in fashion and looking for advice when someone mentioned my name. She called, and I met her and a designer. I was taken by her beauty and felt something during that meeting, but I wasn’t sure if it was mutual.

I quickly set up another meeting, but this time with just her and me. The rest is history. She was mysterious and I was hooked. I got to know her and quickly realised she was the one. We’ve been married for 17 years.

Kelly did seven years of IVF. Eventually, we went to Los Angeles and chose a surrogate to birth our children: Inés, 9, and Maddox, 7. It’s been a challenging journey, one that not only strengthened our bond and love for each other, but also ignited a passion to be the best parents we can be.

Mecca founder Jo Horgan is the real thing: a woman of absolute integrity, more than I have seen in any other person. I worked as a buyer for [Melbourne department store] Georges and met her when she took over its cosmetics floor. We became friends and have remained so ever since.

When I launched the Şener Besim brand in 2020 during COVID-19, then relaunched it in 2022 after lockdown, Jo always said, “Focus on the customer journey.” She always knew I was striving for perfection; she told me, “Don’t wait for the perfect moment, keep fine-tuning it and just do it.”

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