Why would a man abandon his girlfriend on a hiking trail?
In many cases, perhaps to one’s surprise, it seems like these breakups aren’t premeditated. Instead, psychologists say the mountain environment might subconsciously make an already difficult decision “easier” for the one walking away. “Outdoor settings can feel less confrontational than sitting face-to-face,” says Shannon Chavez Qureshi, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles. Ending a relationship with courtesy and grace requires sustained eye contact, on-the-spot explanation and a general willingness to sit there while someone asks hard questions, gets hurt and shows pain—things many people would rather avoid.
All of that becomes easier to sidestep in the great, expansive outdoors. On a hike, you’re not locked into face-to-face interaction. You can keep moving, look anywhere but at the person you’re hurting and walk away from the responsibility, guilt and emotional weight of the moment, Dr. Chavez says. (Which is convenient, sure, but also cruel and cowardly.)
That said, it’s not necessarily that this particular location creates such callous behaviour, psychologists point out. Rather, it can enable existing red flags to thrive, says Golee Abrishami, PhD, licensed psychologist and head of clinical care at Octave Therapy in San Francisco.
Put simply: The kind of boyfriend who already struggles with communication, impulse control or withdraws when faced with any difficult conversation is the same one who might storm down a trail without looking back, or abruptly end a relationship without much thought or care for the other person’s safety and feelings. “We’re not just talking about dramatic or explosive behaviour,” Dr. Abrishami explains. “We’re talking about the everyday ability to pause between feeling something and acting on it, and those with poor emotional regulation skills will move quickly to relieve that discomfort.”
While the motivations for an alpine divorce, like any breakup, may vary, the “why” is besides the point, experts say. What demands our attention is its dangerously overlooked impact on women. “A normal breakup hurts enough,” Dr. Diamond says. “Already you’re heartbroken and sad. But an alpine divorce triggers so much more because you’re placed in a place of physical and emotional danger.”
Even in less extreme scenarios—say, your partner rushes ahead only for a few minutes or leaves you to sulk on an easy, flat trail—“the nervous system still perceives this as a loss of emotional safety,” Dr. Chavez explains. “You feel stranded, disoriented or unable to process what happened because you’re also navigating getting back to the car, finishing the hike or being physically far from support.”
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: vogue.in
