Former TOWIE star, Gemma Collins, shares the high and lows of her fertility journey in a new show on SKY TV in September
Gemma Collins has been many things – car saleswoman, reality TV star, fully fledged British icon – but the one thing she hasn’t been, and longs to be, is a mother.
Now the star has confessed she is trying to make it happen and will be sharing the highs and lows of her journey in a new TV show due to air this autumn – although sadly, the process doesn’t appear to be going to plan as yet.
“I’m trying to have a baby, but let’s see. It’s not going very well at the minute,” she admits. “But you can watch a show all about that. It comes out in September on Sky TV.”
Gemma, 45, has previously said she’s “desperate” to have a child, and has even picked out a name for her future baby: Blossom. As well as her desire to be a mum, Gemma could also discuss her experience of perimenopause on the show, which she has openly said “sucks” due to the effect it has on her memory.
“I can’t remember nothing, it’s bizarre,” she recently told fans on Instagram. “It’s like an out-of-body experience, my mind is normally very sharp.”
Gemma counts her blessings for the wonderful things she does have in her life, including her relationship with fiancé Rami Hawash, their family life with his son Tristan and their multiple animals at home in Essex. “I’m very grateful,” she says.
Recently, Gemma has also been dealing with the worry of her beloved mum Joan’s health issues. Joan was hospitalised with pneumonia at the start of June, for the second time in six months.
“My mum’s been very unwell,” Gemma confirms. “She got pneumonia. My parents live in my house now and she’s getting there every day. She lost her mobility. We’re trying to get her walking again. My life recently hasn’t been about me.”
Taking care of Joan, 70, has been so all-consuming that Gemma admits she’s put self-care aside, in order to give her mum her full attention. Takeaways have replaced home-cooked meals as she juggles her responsibilities, but that has left her feeling subpar.
“I’ve been helping Mum a lot and you do eat takeaways and go, ‘I need to get back on track, just to get myself feeling good again,’” she says. “We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have those moments.”
Gemma has been open about her battle with her body image. She admits she has always struggled with her weight and has turned down big money in the past to shed the pounds.
“So many people have said to me, ‘We’ll pay you to lose weight,’” she says. “I thought, ‘No, because I’m never going to be able to keep it off, so I’d be lying to everyone.’ I’m a normal girl. I struggled with my weight my whole life. It’s never been a secret. I felt that would have been the wrong move. I did turn that down. I’ve been offered so much surgery too, and I’ve never gone for it because it’s not who I am.”
Gemma admits her confident persona hides a multitude of hang-ups. “I do have my insecurities, it’s no secret. I’ve had a history with self-harm,” she confesses. “I’ve been through lots of things in my life and it doesn’t matter how powerful people might see you to be. I do look in the mirror and think, ‘Oh, I don’t want to go to that party.’ But that’s the negative person in your head – like the devil and the angel – then the angel says, ‘No girl, walk in the room and just be yourself.’ My mum always said just be yourself. Every woman needs to feel good about themselves.”
Indeed, Joan has been a constant source of support for Gemma throughout her life and Gemma credits her with being the “real driving force” in her family when she was growing up, sacrificing so much in order to put food on the table for Gemma and her older brother Russell.
“I grew up seeing Mum going without,” Gemma says. “She couldn’t even afford to get a bus to Romford. She’d walk. If we had a chicken, she’d make it last three days – chicken dinner, chicken soup, chicken sandwich. As life went on things did change a bit, but I’ve never, ever gotten over the sacrifices it takes in life to make it.”
Joan was instrumental in encouraging her daughter to go into showbiz after a young Gemma was approached by TOWIE producers at the car showroom where she worked. They were desperate to sign her up.
“It was partly my mum’s dream for me to become famous,” Gemma says. “I felt the dedication my mum had put in, I owed it to her. I thought, ‘I’ve got nothing to lose.’ If you don’t take a risk in life, nothing’s going to happen in your life.”
It’s fair to say a lot has happened in Gemma’s life that she can be proud of, including a meeting with King Charles and Queen Camilla when she attended a royal ball.
“I had a great chat with the King and Queen,’” she recalls. “It was another one of them OMFG moments. I thought, ‘How have I landed here?’ It was bizarre.”
Life now, for the most part, is looking good, and Gemma craves the normality that comes from being away from the spotlight.
“I realise what I do in show business is a business,” she says. “When I go home, put my key in the door, my two dogs run up to me and my mum says, “Make me a cup of tea”, or I’m loading the dishwasher. I love family life. I live in the country. I’ve always been very country. I’ve got chickens and I give the eggs to anyone that comes to the house. I cannot believe I actually live there. It’s fantastic. I can’t believe I managed to get here in life.”
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