EXLCUSIVE: Spencer Matthews has opened up about feeling “lonely” and sleeping separately from wife Vogue Williams since the birth of their fourth child as the couple navigate family life with six
Spencer Matthews and Vogue Williams are said to be feeling the “pressure” since the birth of their fourth baby.
The couple, who have been married since 2018, welcomed son Remy Valentine earlier this month – a brother to their other three children Theodore, eight, Gigi, six, and Otto, three. But former Made In Chelsea star Spencer, 38, has said he and his 40-year-old wife feel a “bit lonely” and that things feel “fractured” as they navigate life as a family of six.
“Vogue and I both in our own ways feel a bit lonely at the moment,” he explained on pal Jamie Laing’s NewlyParents podcast, going on to describe their night-time arrangements and how they are sleeping in separate beds so Vogue can do the night feeds, and to prevent them both being sleep-deprived.
When Jamie asked why he is feeling lonely, Spencer replied, “Well, because we don’t sleep next to each other.’
He added, ‘I don’t really like sleeping separately to her. We like being next to each other, even if you’re not communicating, you’re together. Whereas at the moment, it kind of feels a bit fractured. It sort of feels like you’ve fallen out because you’re staying in a spare room.”
“Like any couple, the baby has put pressure on Spencer and Vogue,” a source exclusively told us. “Babies are hard work – they take up all your time – and they’re not having date nights, so of course it is quite a strain.
“Sometimes babies can really bring couples together and they do everything together, but Spencer and Vogue are sleeping separately. They are doing a lot of things separately, rather than as a couple. They’ve got the other young kids to manage too.”
Spencer and Vogue announced the arrival of their little one in early September, with a series of adorable photographs of their new tot and the other three kids.
“Our beautiful baby boy has arrived safely,” Vogue told her 1.2 million followers. “The house is bursting with excitement, love and happiness and we couldn’t be more delighted.”
The couple have been adjusting to life with their new family member since then – and psychologist Emma Kenny has praised Spencer for highlighting the impact a newborn can have on a relationship, which she says isn’t spoken about enough.
“Every new baby changes the family dynamic, and the newborn stage can be physically and emotionally demanding,” she told new. “Sleep deprivation, less couple time and a mother’s understandable focus on caring for her baby can leave partners feeling lonely, disconnected or even rejected.
“For dads in particular it can be helpful to recognise that in those early weeks and months the baby will naturally take centre stage. Feeling a little pushed out doesn’t necessarily mean there is a problem within the relationship. It can be a very normal response to a huge family transition.
“Seeing these feelings as part of the adjustment to becoming a family of six, rather than immediately interpreting them as a relationship problem, can help to normalise them. At the same time, couples need to make space to acknowledge each other’s feelings and find small opportunities to reconnect as partners, not just as parents.”
Spencer and Vogue fell in love while filming reality show The Jump in 2017. They tied the knot the following year and their first son Theodore arrived three months later. But as they settled into life as a married couple, Spencer wrestled with a problem with alcohol, often binge-drinking and drinking in secret. At one point during his booze battle, he feared he may lose Vogue.
Speaking recently on Matt Willis’ On The Mend podcast, Spencer said, “I was very aware that if I carried on with my drinking and bad habits, that she would get bored and she would leave me. And I knew that, and she never made that a thing. She never sat me down and gave me some kind of ultimatum or anything like that. But I could feel it. I could feel that she was a bit disappointed in me.”
Now Spencer has recovered from his past problems and is running his own alcohol-free drinking business CleanCo – and his relationship with Vogue has gone from strength to strength. Speaking in May, Vogue gushed about her husband on Jamie Laing’s Great Company podcast, referring to them as a “good team” and “best friends”.
Our source firmly believes the pair will get through this challenging newborn stage.
“Spencer and Vogue are a close couple,” the source said. “They’ve been through a lot together. They are a strong couple, but it’s just been a lot of hard work.”
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