Kelsey Parker has shared an emotional message to mark one year since the stillbirth of her son Phoenix, revealing she was made to feel like she had ‘done something wrong’ on the worst day of her life
Kelsey Parker has opened up about the heartbreaking loss of her son Phoenix, revealing she was made to feel as though she had “done something wrong” on the worst day of her life.
The mum-of-three marked one year since Phoenix was stillborn with an emotional message on Instagram, reflecting on the devastating experience after giving birth to her little boy at home.
It was a harrowing experience for Kelsey and her partner Will Lindsay, after her house was labelled a “crime scene” by police officers. The mum was then taken to hospital and placed on a ward with newborn babies just after losing her baby.
Sharing a photograph of Phoenix’s hand clutching a gold Phoenix necklace, Kelsey spoke candidly about the grief she continues to carry and the way she and her family were treated in the hours following his birth.
She wrote: “A year ago, I gave birth to my son Phoenix at home. When he entered this world, he had already left it.
“I will carry that for the rest of my life. But there’s another part of that day I still can’t come to terms with. What happened afterwards.”
Kelsey went on to describe how, while dealing with the unimaginable pain of losing her baby, she felt she had to justify herself rather than receive the compassion and support she needed.
She added: “I had just given birth. I had just lost my baby. And on the worst day of my life, I was made to feel like I’d done something wrong. Like I needed to explain myself. I think about those hours all the time.”
The emotional post comes during Baby Loss Awareness Week, which aims to raise awareness of pregnancy and baby loss and offer support to bereaved families.
Kelsey also explained that one of the reasons she continues to speak publicly about Phoenix is the knowledge that other parents may be experiencing similar heartbreak and struggling to find their voices.
“What breaks my heart even more is knowing that somewhere, right now, another mum is going through exactly the same thing,” she wrote.
“That is why I will never stop talking about Phoenix.”
She also urged professionals who come into contact with bereaved parents to be mindful of how their words and actions can affect families during the most vulnerable moments of their lives.
“Losing a baby is devastating enough. No parent should then have to fight to be treated with dignity, kindness and compassion,” Kelsey said.
“To every professional who meets a family in those first hours: your words and your actions stay with us forever. Please choose them with care.”
The mum of three ended her message by offering support to other parents who have experienced baby loss, encouraging them to share their children’s names in the comments if they felt comfortable doing so.
“If you’ve lost a baby, your baby matters,” she wrote, promising to read every comment.
She added that she would spend the rest of her life making sure her son’s life made a difference.
Kelsey shares children Aurelia, seven, and Bodhi, five, with her late husband, The Wanted singer Tom Parker, who died in March 2022 aged 33 after being diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour.
She has since welcomed daughter River with her partner Will Lindsay, announcing her arrival in September.
Despite the joy of growing her family, Kelsey has continued to speak openly about the lasting impact of losing Tom and Phoenix, using her own experiences to encourage conversations around grief and bereavement.
She told Mirror earlier this year, she refuses to let her grief stop her from living.
“We’ve been excited since the day we found out I was pregnant again,” she said. “I just don’t let myself go to that dark place of, what if? It’s not me.”
She added: “We never know what’s going to happen in life, do we? So there’s no point being anxious. We can’t control what happens.
“Six years ago, I thought I would still be with Tom, we’d have our kids, we might be planning more kids. But that’s just not where my life went.”
A source told The Mirror : “Losing Phoenix absolutely devastated Kelsey and Will. There were some incredibly dark days afterwards and nobody around them underestimated what they were going through.
“River doesn’t replace Phoenix, she never could, but she has brought some light back into their lives.
“Seeing Kelsey with River is incredibly emotional for everyone who loves her. She’s been through more heartbreak than most people could ever imagine, so to see her holding her little girl and looking so happy is really special.”
If you have been affected by this story, advice and support can be found at Sands (stillbirth and neonatal death charity). You can call them on 0808 164 3332 or email helpline@sands.org.uk
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