Alan Cumming’s life off-screen from ‘feudal’ upbringing to husband

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Alan Cumming hosts the movie awards from the Royal Festival Hall and he has a fascinating past.

Scottish actor and presenter Alan Cumming has opened up about his tragic upbringing.

BBC One is broadcasting the 2026 BAFTA Film Awards tonight, February 22, and TV star Alan Cumming is in charge of proceedings.

The actor, director and writer is known for his roles on stage and screen and has won various prestigious accolades across his career.

Recognised for his roles in The Good Wife and Instinct, his most recent role is as the host of The Traitors US.

As well as writing a novel, he has also published two insightful memoirs which delve into his childhood and personal life.

Alan Cumming’s childhood

The 61-year-old was born in Aberfeldy, Scotland and his father, Alex Cumming, was head forester of Panmure Estate on the east coast.

He has spoken publicly about the emotional and physical abuse he faced at the hands of his father, and an excerpt from his book, Not My Father’s Son, unveiled how his upbringing on Panmure Estate was “all very feudal and a bit Downton Abbey, minus the abbey and fifty years later”.

“I answered the door to men who referred to my father as The Maister.” The star added: “Looking back on it, it was a beautiful place to grow up, but at the time all I wanted was to get as far away as possible.”

After his early 20s, the star did not have any contact with his father until he filmed his episode of the series Who Do You Think You Are?, when he discovered his father, who died of cancer in late 2010, had believed Alan was not his biological son.

He and his brother Tom, who is six years older, took DNA tests that proved they were indeed his biological children.

Alan told The Guardian: “I used to keep thinking, ‘When did he decide to make it up that I wasn’t his son, when did that happen?’ And then eventually I just thought, ‘You’re never going to find out, and, actually, why am I trying to reason with someone who’s unreasonable and I believe was mentally ill?’

“It wasn’t just rage, it was someone who wasn’t dealing with a full deck. And that’s liberating to realise. But it doesn’t make it any less infuriating.”

Alan Cumming’s relationships

The bisexual actor has had a number of high-profile relationships in his life, including an eight-year marriage to actress Hilary Lyon from 1985 until 1993.

He later had a two-year relationship with actress Saffron Burrows, and a six-year relationship with theatre director Nick Philippou.

He is now married to illustrator and the couple had dated for two years before becoming civil partners at the Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich, London in 2007.

In 2012 they legally married in New York and Cumming has dual-citizenship in the UK and US. The couple live in Manhattan, with Grant having published children’s books and worked as a storyboard artist for films and music videos.

They reportedly met through mutual friends, with Alan telling Closer Weekly: “He’s lovely, kind, and hilarious, but he’s also the first person who hasn’t wanted to change me.

“We respect each other, and we were a bit older when we met, so you know yourself more and are more respectful.”

The BAFTA Film Awards ceremony is being broadcast on BBC One tonight, February 22, at 7pm

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