The Yorkshire Shepherdess Amanda Owen has revealed for the first time the true toll of her split from husband Clive that saw them both fearing for her life.
In a new interview Amanda recalls her darkest days after the pair called time on their marriage after 22 years. Amanda, who is mum to their nine children, reveals she suffered an eating disorder from which she is only now emerging.
Amanda says the disorder was part of a ‘cataclysmic’ breakdown she endured after splitting with Clive and embarking on a new short-lived new relationship with web designer Rob Davies, 72.
‘I just shut down.” Amanda tells the Daily Mail. “Physical and mental health are intertwined and anxiety, depression, paranoia, agoraphobia and an eating disorder were all smooshed into one.’
Amanda said she always had issues with food and eating – which was amplified by her nine pregnancies.
“The children witnessed it all. It has taught them resilience. It’s a weird sort of double life. You have moments of extreme strength, of feeling belligerent and spiky, then times when you feel the rug has been pulled from under you.
“I was back and forth to the hospital, to the doctors; it was a critical time and we were also doing the renovation at Anty John’s [the property that features in Our Farm Next Door].”
Clive said there were nights he feared he would not see Amanda the next morning.
Amanda says: “One Valentine’s night I went outside in the dark and something happened in my throat and I was throwing up blood. It was awful. The eating disorder has always bubbled up beneath the surface but I never imagined it would happen to that degree. Clive, in his basic, simplistic way said: “Why don’t you just eat summat?” There were a couple of times when I went out gathering [sheep] and I just flaked out. They had to come and get me.”
Amanda said it was a comfort to know that Clive would always have her back despite their separation.
“We can split up, shout the farm down, but we’ll always be there for each other,” said Clive.
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