Blake Fielder-Civil and Amy Winehouse’s tumultuous romance has been unpacked in a new podcast, with the iconic singer’s ex-husband revealing new detail about their toxic love story
When Amy Winehouse tragically died from alcohol poisoning at just 27 years old, as far as her ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil is concerned, people were looking for someone to blame – and he fit the role of “villain” perfectly.
Sitting down for a lengthy interview on the We Need to Talk podcast, Blake told host Paul Brunson that he found himself pinned as a “convenient scapegoat” for Amy’s decline from the dizzying heights of stardom into fatal addiction.
Blake and Amy met in 2005 and by his own admission their romance became “too intense, too fast” – with Amy getting his name tattooed on her chest just weeks after they met, while the pair both were still dating other people.
During the sit down interview, which lasted over two hours, Blake provided new insight into his perspective on his relationship with his ex-wife, and what led to her eventual death, admitting that though he was the one who introduced her to smoking heroin, “our love had nothing to do with addiction, and addiction had nothing to do with our love”.
Amy had kicked drugs by the time of her death, but she suffered from bulimia, and alcohol still presented a massive problem for the singer. When she passed away, Blake was once again in prison – this time for a burglary and a firearm offence. But the pair were still in touch, he claimed, even though at the time Amy was seeing someone knew.
READ MORE: Blake Fielder-Civil says ‘I’m not responsible for Amy Winehouse’s death’ in bombshell chatREAD MORE: Blake Fielder-Civil’s tortured life from two dead girlfriends to losing his kids
Just “five months” before her death was the last time the pair met in person, Blake told the podcast host, and on this occasion he was still struggling to manage his drug use, with the claws of his addiction refusing to let him go. “We were as intimate as we had been,” he described about their meeting which lasted for a “couple of hours”. “It was a case of I’ll see you soon, and I’ll be better next time,” he claimed.
While he was behind bars, the pair remained in touch, exchanging letters and, he claims, phone calls. Blake alleges that he and Amy discussed getting back together repeatedly in the period before her death, and that it was a serious possibility. In her very last letter to her ex-husband, Amy reportedly decided they would be better off working on their friendship.
Blake claims the last time she wrote to him was filled with affection and “nicknames”, and Amy said “let’s really give it a go as friends.” He replied, but he believes she would never have read his response, because on Saturday 23 July, 2011, she was found dead. That day, he claimed he had saved up his prison phone credits to call her, and tried her number multiple times, with no one picking up.
Then prison officers told him the tragic news. The moment was his “worst nightmare” come true, he said, so much so, that he initially believed it all to be a massive “hoax” with his head “swimming”. As it dawned on him that his “best friend” was really gone, he had to hold it together until he got back to cell, unable to express any emotion amid the harsh prison conditions.
That letter was stolen from him by another prisoner, he claimed in the interview, which also saw him put forward that there was no doubt in his mind that if Amy were still alive, they would still be close. “I have no qualms about saying that, that we would still be in each other’s lives now. I would have met her today for a drink or a coffee or whatever.” Blake added that doesn’t necessarily mean they would have been in a romantic relationship still but that “it was never final” between them.
Blake, who said he is now in a “happy relationship” and no longer “in addiction”, examined in the interview how his tendency towards substance misuse had its roots in his childhood. In an emotional moment, he discussed a suicide attempt that he made at just nine years old when he had been sent to boarding school and was getting bullied, revealing that he was “very uncomfortable in my own skin” as a teen, and that drugs provided him with confidence and made him more talkative.
Eventually, he “thought drugs were my personality”. When he met Amy, she was a regular cannabis user and drank alcohol, he claimed, but she first smoked heroin with him. However, he alleged that an ex-partner had been the one to introduce her to cocaine.
The love story between the Grammy award winning singer and the former video production assistant was certainly a tumultuous one, with the pair regularly breaking up and getting back together. They tied the knot in 2007 whilst in Miami, but when Blake got sent to prison because of a bar fight – he claimed in the interview it had only taken place because he was sticking up for a pal – Amy was unfaithful.
Before their marriage, they might have both occasionally strayed, but after their wedding it was a different story for Blake, he claims, saying that he struggled with feelings of jealousy over the incident. He eventually filed for divorce, but things between him and Amy were far from over – even though he went on to meet a new partner, Sarah Aspin, in rehab after he was released from prison.
He and Sarah had their first child, Jack, but he and Amy were still drawn together, causing Sarah to speak out and tell Amy in no uncertain terms to back off. Sarah instructed Amy to “keep her hands off” Blake, adding: “He is mine and we are a family now.” Sarah and Blake welcomed another child, Lola-Rose in 2013 – but social services took both children from their custody because of drug use and the little ones were given up for adoption.
It was none another than Blake’s mum, Georgette, who informed the authorities that Blake and Sarah were still addicts. “In her book, Letting Blake Go, she wrote: “I looked down at Jack in his pushchair and thought, ‘I can’t condemn you to a life with junkies’. We went to see Lola. I held her in my arms for the first and last time. I kissed her goodbye and walked away from her, Blake and Jack, feeling as if my heart was breaking. I knew I would never see any of them again.
“I rang social services and betrayed my own son. I told them Blake was still a drug user and that I had provided clean urine samples. Blake phoned me two days later. He was crying, screaming and pleading with me to withdraw my statement – but I didn’t. I never heard from my son again and I know I never will.”
Sarah and Blake eventually went their separate ways, with Blake moving reportedly to a bed-sit in Headingley, Leeds, where neighbours said he keeps to himself and doesn’t bring up his famous ex-wife. “Blakey is alright, he keeps himself to himself. But from what happened with Amy, and where she took him, to where he is now. It’s crazy. He keeps his head down. He’s not an issue. But other people are up to all sorts,” the local was reported as saying.
Sarah died earlier this year at the age of 47, found at her council maisonette in Leeds, and Georgette claims that its like Blake would have had no idea that another of his exes had died. “It’s absolutely tragic – truly tragic. [But] I would have thought Blake doesn’t know,” she said in the aftermath to the Daily Mail.
Blake is reported to now be living with his new girlfriend, with none of his neighbours in the run-down area he previously lived having seen him for months.
For mental health support, contact the Samaritans on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org or visit samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.
For support with substance abuse, contact Talk To Frank on 0300 123 6600.
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