Every adult enters parenthood with at least this single thought in mind: “I want my kids to be happy.” But what is it really that makes children happy?
In conversation with Newsweek, child psychologists Dr Sasha Hall and Dr Stewart Pisecco explained that the happiness of a home isn’t defined by the number of toys a parent buys or the amount of tuition fees they pay, but rather a foundation built on 6 key factors:
1. Unconditional Love
“Children need to feel that love is unconditional and not dependent on behaviour,” said Dr Hall. “Emotional safety allows them to express feelings, make mistakes and know that relationships can be repaired after conflict.”
She advised parents to avoid using phrases along the lines of “If you do this, I will not love you,” so children understand that love is consistent even when confronted with boundaries.
2. Firm Boundaries
“It is natural for kids to push against limits that you may set with them,” said Dr Picesso.
Even though it can be stressful when patience is tested and boundaries are pushed, he urged parents to stay calm when challenged and “plan a response”.
“Having a planned response helps create a sense of predictability for your kids, but also, and more importantly, helps you be calm in those moments of chaos.”
3. Emotional Regulation
Children are like sponges; they absorb everything from their environment, including the way their parents handle difficult situations. It is the parents’ responsibility to model healthy communication for their children to learn from.
Instead of correcting their child’s behaviour, he encourages parents to connect with the emotion that’s causing the behaviour.
“By naming the feeling that is driving the behaviour, it helps kids feel seen,” added Dr Picesso further.
“Focusing on the connections also has a calming effect, which makes it easier for them to hear what you, as a parent, are trying to say,” he further elaborated.
4. Predictability
They say that consistency is key, and it’s no different when raising kids. “Children tend to thrive when they can rely on familiar patterns,” Dr Hall stated. “Predictable routines such as mealtimes, bedtimes or morning transitions help children feel secure and reduce uncertainty.”
This gives them the ability to recognise more complex patterns later in life and reduces the overall stress in a given household.
5. Detailed Appreciation
Everyone knows that hearing positive affirmation creates a healthy mindset. But Dr Picesso emphasised that a parent should be specific while praising their child. “Great job putting your backpack away when you got home” leaves a greater impact than a plain old “Great job”.
Acknowledging good behaviour in detail acts as positive reinforcement and encourages further cooperation.
6. Bonding Moments
Spending quality time with your children is a must, but parents should ensure that any chosen activity is child-driven.
“This is a time to reinforce your connection,” Dr Picesso contended. “Remember this is something that they like to do, so while it may not be your favourite activity, it isn’t about you—it’s about your connection with your child.”
Whether it’s going to the park, visiting the zoo, or simply enjoying a meal together, families connected through shared experiences are often happier and feel a greater sense of belonging.
He maintained, “These moments build a sense of ‘we,’ reminding each member that they belong to something bigger than themselves. Shared meaning and connection are at the heart of a happy home.”
The article has been authored by Tejasree Kallakrinda, and intern at Deccan Chronicle
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: deccanchronicle.com
