Gavin and Stacey’s Pamela Shipman actress Alison Steadman revealed she has made plans for her own death, as she reflected on her experiences with grief
Gavin and Stacey star Alison Steadman has spoken candidly about bereavement, following the death of her mother Marjorie. The actress who played Pamela Shipman in the BBC sitcom has previously shared the deep sadness and hopelessness she felt while her mother battled pancreatic cancer.
Marjorie spent her final years receiving care at the Marie Curie Hospice in Liverpool, after Alison and her sisters had nursed her at home.
Reflecting on her death, the 79-year-old said: “Death is something that always happens to other people, until it happens to you, and no one can truly prepare you for it.
“My older sisters (Sylvia and Pam) and I managed to keep mum at home until it was clear that she needed extra care from time to time and [I] found a place for her at one of the Marie Curie centres in Liverpool.”
Recalling her mother’s transition to the hospice, Alison said her “indomitable spirit was still intact” and remembered her putting her “best dress on” for her first day there.
“As soon as we walked through the front door, we all felt a sense of relief and I was calm about leaving her with the doctor for a while,” she told Candis Magazine.
The actress attributes her professional work with supporting her through that difficult period. Yet, despite having taken on numerous motherly characters during her career, she insists none match up to her own mum.
“The thing about life and death is that they co-exist. We are required to go on living when all we want is to stop and grieve,” she added.
“Over the years I’ve played so many different mums, but none quite like my mum, Marjorie, who – unlike Mrs Bennet [her role in Pride and Prejudice] – never caused a scene, and only ever created good ones.”
Despite her mother’s death being over two decades ago, Alison confesses that the grief has never truly left her.
“I still cry for my mum and dad all the time. Generally, I’m a happy and positive person, but sometimes grief just takes over,” she shared with Your Later Life.
She further revealed that she has occasionally thought about her own death and has arranged a funeral plan for her family, as well as a will.
“While I do think about my own death sometimes, I try not to dwell on it because I’m very privileged. I’m of an age, I’m still working, I’m still busy,” she expressed. “But you do need to be realistic, and you need to acknowledge that your turn will come.
“I want to make it easier for my sons to sort things out when I go, so I’ve written a will. I’ve got a file that says ‘My Will’ on the front so there’s no confusion.”
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