ChatGPT has ruined my dating life. It was easy to miss, at first. A message here, a reply there. Men who once communicated like malfunctioning printers suddenly began sending paragraphs, and not the chaotic kind either. These were thoughtful, well-paced, emotionally competent blocks of text that ended in questions about my day, my boundaries, childhood and emotional availability. No one evolves this quickly unless they’ve joined a cult.
At the beginning, I didn’t mind it. Casual dating has always involved a certain amount of performance, and this felt like a more competent version of the usual script. Over time, though, the similarities became harder to ignore. Their tones stayed neutral, the reassurance landed perfectly, yet it had a unique hollowness to it. It felt rehearsed rather than earnest; an unkind thing to think until I realised how often I was thinking it.
Every dating app-facilitated conversation seemed to pass through an invisible filter designed to maximise likeability and minimise risk. The phrasing shifted slightly depending on whether the exchange was headed towards a date, a relationship or a one-night stand, but the feeling rarely did.
Then I stopped dating casually and entered what appeared, at least initially, to be a real relationship. It lasted about five months, which is just long enough for habits to harden. Our arguments were unremarkable; two people talking past each other and refusing to budge. The first time he reached for his phone in the middle of one, I assumed he was checking the time.
Instead, he started typing. He typed for a bit, paused, then turned the screen towards me. “See,” he said, gently, like he was trying to help. ChatGPT had responded.
The response was calm, coherent and written in a tone that suggested it had no personal investment in the outcome, which, in his mind, made it authoritative. ChatGPT explained, very clearly, why my ex-partner’s approach made sense.
After that, the phone came out more often. Sometimes it was positioned as helpful and other times, as ‘his’ perspective.
There was a third person in our relationship and not in a fun way. AI became the companion and the crutch, always siding with him. My relationship had a third party that has access to every relationship book ever written, echoes what you want to hear and cannot love you back. I was no longer sure who I was speaking to or who was listening. When it ended, there was no final fight worth recounting.
There were moments when I found myself agreeing with AI. Maybe I was overthinking the situation. Perhaps this division of labour makes sense given my daily schedule. I was tempted to add my own thoughts to his chat box, seeking vindication from a language model with no life experience.
If ChatGPT helps someone articulate themselves more clearly or find language they were never taught, that’s perhaps the best use of AI. Not everyone grew up with the tools for conflict or vulnerability. But something fundamental gets lost when it becomes your constant wingman and spokesperson in moments that actually require presence of mind.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: vogue.in
