Girl dinner, girl math, hot girl summer: social media is leaning hard into the language of girlhood. But beneath the trend lies a bigger question about nostalgia, pleasure and what we expect from women.
Social media trends are nothing new. Some have been rooted in efforts to do good – 2014’s ice bucket challenge, for example, when people dumped freezing cold water over their heads to raise awareness for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. Others more frivolous, such as the Snapchat dog filters that were huge in 2016, and those strange few months in 2011 when people started lying face down like a plank in unusual places. More recently, though, the mood has shifted, with a new wave of trends emerging that lean heavily into the language of girlhood, encouraging both influencers and fully grown women alike to embrace things like girl dinner (a loosely assembled plate of foods like cheese, fruit and crackers that requires little more effort than opening the fridge) alongside hot girl summers and the emergence of girl math (yes, if we return something we bought online, we are making money). What ties it all together is the curious return to calling ourselves “girls” – a small linguistic step backwards that begs the question: what are we hoping to gain from it? Is it to feel softer? More vulnerable? A desire to retreat to a time when our biggest decision was what to wear to a party or who to text back?
Historically, the label “girl” has rarely been neutral, carrying assumptions of dependence and diminished power, which makes the trend all the more curious: at a moment when women arguably have more autonomy than ever before, why does womanhood sometimes feel like something to sidestep? “Girlhood isn’t just a life stage – it’s more about chasing a feeling,” Christi Gadd, clinical psychologist at Dubai’s Thrive Wellbeing Clinic explains. “Perhaps remembering a time where feeling things intensely was normal, even expected. Where you could be completely consumed by a friendship, a song, an obsession, without anyone questioning your professionalism or your composure. Where you could collect all the posters of your favourite band and paste them all over your room without worrying about your house having the perfect neutral adult aesthetic when friends come over. The responsibilities were lower. The feelings were just as big. That combination is rare – and once it’s gone, we tend to miss it more than we expected to.”
Here’s a thought: what if the things we love about being “girls” – friendship, playfulness, curiosity, ease – doesn’t actually belong to girlhood itself? We tend to speak about girlhood as though it were synonymous with intensity, defined by sleepovers, crushes and people who were the centre of our world. Adult friendships operate differently. They are no longer assigned by geography or timetable, but formed through choice and sustained across cities, careers, marriages, divorces and grief. They may not involve hours spent in each other’s bedrooms dissecting every text message, yet they often carry a different kind of strength. They survive disagreement and they accommodate change. “Adult-friendship intensity can look less all-consuming because logistics, like work, caregiving and geography, change, but the quality can become richer: more selective, more honest and more anchored,” says Dr Jane Halsall, counselling psychologist at Cornerstone Clinic. “Often it can feel harder to make friends as we get older, but that doesn’t make it any less valuable.” It’s the misconception that building real, meaningful connections in adulthood can be impossible that led Keeya Saund and Karenna Kumari to launch She Connects in early 2025 – a community where women can connect, grow and feel inspired. They host events such as group fitness classes and matcha mornings in a bid to bring like-minded women together to help form real connections, and in August last year the pair expanded their reach to the UAE, with She Connects DXB working to make connection intentional again. “Our aim is to create spaces where women can build real, lasting friendships in a city that is constantly evolving,” explains Saund. “Meaningful female friendship in adulthood feels different because it’s chosen.
When we’re younger, connection is frequent, but often circumstantial. You bond because you are in the same school, class or environment. In adulthood, connection is far more intentional. It’s built with discernment. You align on values. When it lands, it’s deeper than anything we experienced when we were younger. And while it might take longer for you to find your people, when you do, it feels more solid.” The same goes for obsession. Teenage girls are often mocked for how intensely they love things – bands, films, Timothée Chalamet. But that instinct doesn’t vanish as we get older – it just becomes harder to indulge without a hint of self-consciousness. Case in point? Who has swapped a friendship bracelet with a friend at a Taylor Swift concert and not felt embarrassed? And who else binge-watched all three seasons of The Summer I Turned Pretty in one weekend without a hint of shame? A teenage girl screaming at a concert is indulged; a woman doing the same risks being described as unserious. But that doesn’t have to be the case. “Somewhere along the way we learned that enthusiasm has a cost,” explains Gadd. “Visible excitement can get read as naivety. Obsession as immaturity. There’s an unspoken expectation that adult women stay composed, measured, a bit ironic about their feelings – like caring too openly about something makes you less credible.
That kind of licensed intensity is rare in adult life. We’re hungry for it. But let’s be honest – Taylor Swift just brings out the fun, heartbroken girl in all of us.” So, the point in all this? It’s time to learn that things we romanticise with girlhood were never really about age – they just feel rarer in adulthood, not because we outgrow them, but because life gets fuller, busier and a little more serious. “Reflecting nostalgically on the past restores a sense of continuity, meaning and social connection,” adds Dr Halsall. “It is not about refusing to grow up, but more about finding a way to expand our definition of womanhood to include frivolity, obsession, silliness and intensity without shrinking ourselves.” Seen like this, the nostalgia for girlhood isn’t really about wanting to be small again, it’s about remembering a time when pleasure didn’t need a reason. The intensity we associate with those years wasn’t simply about youth – it was about being free to care deeply and show it. The real question is whether we still make space for that once we’re called women.
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