Actor Richard E. Grant opened up about his late wife Joan’s dying wish, following her heartbreaking battle with terminal lung cancer
Richard E. Grant has opened up about the promise he made to his wife Joan when she was battling stage four lung cancer. The dialect coach died in September 2021, aged 74, eight months after learning of her diagnosis.
The devastating news came just four weeks after Richard had cancelled their health insurance owing to problems with their provider.
Nevertheless, he said Joan received “incredible” care from NHS staff at Royal Marsden Hospital, whom Richard has praised on numerous occasions.
Respecting her desire not to die in hospital, she spent merely four days at the medical facility before being looked after at home.
“When she was diagnosed, she asked me to promise she wouldn’t die in hospital,” he told The Times. “And with the right help, that was what came to pass.”
Joan was given a drug specifically targeting the rare form of lung cancer she suffered from, which meant there was “no hair loss or chemotherapy”.
Yet, after three months, she voiced worries that the treatment might not be effective.
“At the Marsden, Wanda [a young oncologist] came back with the blood tests in tears, saying, ‘I’m afraid, Jo, you are correct,'” he recalled. “But I was grateful for the extra three months that we did have.”
In his book A Pocketful of Happiness, Richard also disclosed that Joan had wanted them to be holding hands when she passed. “Of course, you hope that you’re going to be able to fulfil that,” he penned.
“But the reality is you have no idea. But as it turned out, that is exactly what happened.”
Richard also spoke of the moment Joan asked him to “let [her] go” after becoming so “exhausted” from the disease.
“That is such a powerful thing, because on the one hand, it’s such a contradiction, because you want the person to live as long as possible,” he elaborated. “But at the same time, if they are saying, ‘I am exhausted by this, I long to end this’.”
Nearly five years after her death, Richard admits that he still sheds tears daily and pens letters to Joan.
“I write to Joan every night. I have no woolly spiritual delusion that I’m going to get a response, but it somehow keeps the connection going,” he shared with the publication. The couple first crossed paths when Richard sought dialect lessons after being rejected for several acting roles.
After settling on a fee, he visited Joan at her residence and confessed he was initially disheartened to discover she was married. However, when her relationship concluded a few months later, they enjoyed a dinner date and never looked back.
The duo tied the knot four years later, in 1986, and welcomed their only child, daughter Olivia, now 37. Since Joan’s death, Richard has remained single and confessed last year that the prospect of being vulnerable with someone else is “mortifying”.
“I have no expectation that I will fall in love again, which is not to say that it couldn’t or wouldn’t happen. I’m not there on a dating app trying to find it,” he revealed to The Sunday Times Culture Magazine.
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