Let’s call this what it is: most of us grew up learning more about self-pleasure from school-bathroom conversations that felt illegal and badly written porn than from anywhere remotely useful. In 2025, you can have a custom AI horoscope and a peptide serum for your earlobes and yet, masturbation still lives in the taboo cabinet for a lot of people.
This is the year that deserves better. So if you’re someone trying not to feel weird about self-pleasuring or you want to explore it but don’t know where to begin or you’re beyond bored of your three-minute, lights-off, feel-guilty-after session, this is your guide to making desire your favourite way to unwind.
Myths about self-pleasure to leave behind in 2025
Myth 1: If I masturbate regularly, something must be wrong with me
For most people, solo pleasure is just another way the body regulates stress, hormones, mood and curiosity. The frequency is wildly individual. Some people go months without it, some people have phases of doing it daily. The red flag isn’t that you do it, it’s when it starts replacing basic functioning (sleep, work, food, relationships). Outside of that, it’s just one more way your nervous system lets off steam.
Myth 2: Once I’m in a relationship, I should stop
Solo and partnered pleasure do different jobs. One is intimacy and connection, the other is regulation and self-knowledge. Keeping your own pleasure alive can actually help partnered sex: you know what works, what doesn’t, what kind of touch you enjoy and what your body is capable of on a good day. That’s valuable information, not betrayal.
If you’re using solo time to escape a relationship that feels stuck, the answer isn’t to cut yourself off from pleasure; it’s to zoom out. Dr Vaishali Joshi, senior obstetrician and gynaecologist at Kokilaben Ambani Hospital, suggests going back to the root: open conversations, relationship counselling, sometimes even taking a short break to reset instead of completely checking out.
Myth 3: Self-pleasure is only valid if it looks like porn
The truth is, some people need fantasy, some prefer audio, some just want to feel their own body without a screen. “Every individual has a unique personality and physical attributes,” says Dr Joshi. Social media and porn are often “performing for an audience and the glory of amazing sex or orgasms is not always true; most of the time, it’s a hyped version,” as she points out. Good solo sex is anything that makes you feel more relaxed, more present in your body and not hollowed out afterwards.
Myth 4: Toys will make me dependent
This myth needs to be retired permanently. Your body doesn’t get “spoiled” by a vibrator or a toy. It just gets used to certain types of stimulation. If you only ever use one setting, one position and one script, of course change will feel harder. That’s not the toy’s fault, it’s the lack of variety. “Toys take the pressure off penetration and help make orgasms more likely and more mutual. They upgrade good sex,” says Leeza Mangaldas, sexuality educator and co-founder of Leezu’s, a sexual wellness brand. Think of toys as tools, not replacements. They can speed things up, slow things down or just be there on the days your brain is fried and your body needs extra help switching on.
Myth 5: “If it doesn’t end in orgasm, it doesn’t count”
The orgasm-obsession can kill a lot of joy. Some days your body will respond quickly; some days it won’t. Medication, stress, hormones, cycle, food, sleep all play a role. Masturbation can just be tension release, exploration, touch, fantasy. If you only ever judge it by the finish, you miss half the point.
Ways to make your alone time actually feel better
1. Upgrade your setting
Let’s be honest, most of us treat solo time like something to get over with quickly. Your nervous system senses that. Instead, try changing one sensory element: a lamp or candle instead of overhead lights, audio that gets you going, clean sheets. If your body does not feel safe, it will not relax and pleasure will always feel like a struggle.
2. Get curious about what you like
If you’ve done the same quick routine for years, you probably don’t know what you really enjoy. Give yourself permission to experiment with different kinds of touch (lighter / slower / more or less pressure), different parts of your body, different types of fantasies. Notice what makes you calmer, what makes you tense up, what makes your mind wander elsewhere.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: vogue.in
