After years of terminally online comedy fans hypothesizing that John Mulaney must have undergone drastic plastic surgery, some of his followers now wonder if this is what Mulaney’s jaw would have looked like the whole time if he didn’t spend a decade-plus grinding his teeth.
Even more than most of us who survived a tumultuous 2020, Mulaney emerged from the global pandemic looking very different in the eyes of the public. After completing a 60-day drug program at a rehabilitation facility, Mulaney separated from his wife and quickly started a family with actress Olivia Munn, causing serious consternation in his mostly Millennial female following. But, really, the Tumblrinas who turned Mulaney into a soft-boy sex symbol probably wouldn’t have attempted to tank his public image if his face didn’t suddenly lose its distinct boyishness.
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Today, the Saturday Night Live writers’ room veteran and stand-up superstar has a much more adult and masculine appearance than the one from his “tall child” era. While celebrities changing their face with medical assistance certainly isn’t unheard-of, some fans are pushing back on the rumor that Mulaney altered his jawline through cosmetic surgery, suggesting that, maybe, the whole no-longer-doing-cocaine-every-day thing might have something to do the the new look.
Earlier this year, one particularly obsessive and parasocial fan in the John Mulaney subreddit did a deep-dive on the New in Town and Comeback Kid comic’s newly mature facial features, coming to the conclusion that, “John Mulaney Did NOT Have Cosmetic/ Plastic Surgery!!(Jaw Filler Conspiracy Destroyed).”
In their examination, this unnamed Mulaney superfan created side-by-side images of Mulaney’s mandible showing the shape of his jaw both before and after his 2020 rehab stint, which is roughly the time when most surgery-suspicious fans believe that he got some work done. The Mulaney face scholar claims that, even during his druggier years, Mulaney’s jaw always gave that super-chin impression that fans now claim is artificial when he was photographed with his mouth closed.
“John always had an angular jawline and his chin appears longer than it is when he smiles without his teeth showing and YES expression does play a huge part,” the fan argued, pointing out that other before-and-after comparisons use cherry-picked photos to prove their point. “He also has hallow cheeks with deep long dimples and when he has a stubble they look like prominent darker lines around his face especially from a front angle and those layered lines makes the space from his mouth to jaw look bigger.”
The fan also noted that Mulaney’s new styling plays a role in the perceived change in his face shape, writing, “Big part of the optical illusion is when he has sideburns, it blends to the hair by shadowing the skin so the corners of his jawline that are below the sideburns looks like they are jutting out.”
Then, of course, there is the one huge fact that the surgery conspiracy pushers tend to ignore: Mulaney is now 13 years older than he was when New in Town first came out, and, for most of that time, Mulaney was furiously inhaling huge amount of hard drugs. In the last five years, Mulaney went sober, got divorced and had two kids, which, as anyone who has ever started a family knows well, is more than enough to make a man unrecognizable compared to his younger self.
But, really, the bigger question here is, even if Mulaney did undergo some sort of plastic surgery on his face, does it really matter? Whether strung-out and stringy or sober and chiseled, Mulaney will never fall in love with a current or former fan on Twitter.
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