Satirical News

LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

Comrades, there has been democratic action in the country. According to polls, our supreme Labour Party has lost over 1,800 councillors across the People’s...

Study Finds Cell Phone Bans Don’t Help Grades

A large-scale study found no correlation between school cell phone bans and higher test scores, though the findings pointed to increased levels of well-being...
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Artist Profile: Noah Kahan

Noah Kahan, the singer-songwriter behind “Stick Season,” has topped the Billboard 200 chart with his new album, The Great...

Harry Styles Hits It Off With Zoë Kravitz’s Mom A Little Too Well

NEW YORK—Expressing resentment as the evening dragged on into its fifth hour, actress Zoë Kravitz was reportedly upset this...

What Are We Doing After Graduation?

 All Good Baby Names Already Taken By Ninja Turtles  Airplane Seatmate Maybe Sinbad  Mr. Important Loudly Stomps...

‘Garfield’ Director Begs Chris Pratt To Stop Ad-Libbing Bible Verses

LOS ANGELES—In a desperate effort to get production of the animated film sequel back on schedule, Garfield Movie 2...

Customer Waits Until Barista Watching To Disarm Gunman

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to ensure his good deed did not go unseen and unappreciated, customer Angus Helms waited...

Trump Shares Recipe For Famous ‘Better Than Pedophilia’ Cake

WASHINGTON—Claiming that his signature dessert had garnered rave reviews from victims and co-conspirators alike, President Donald Trump took to...