Ever feel like you have a “special connection” with an artist? Like if the two of you could only meet, you would be instant BFFs? This phenomenon is what experts call a parasocial relationship. On the surface, it might sound harmless, but the truth is that parasocial relationships have been shown to make people lonelier and exacerbate mental health problems. Plus, I bet Pedro Pascal hates them.
Seriously. Pedro’s a sensitive and authentic guy, and there’s nothing less authentic than experiencing a one-sided relationship with somebody who doesn’t even know you exist.
There’s nothing wrong with being a fan. The problem is when people become obsessive. Go to any pop star’s Instagram, and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. Take the comments on Harry Styles’ account, for instance: “Harry, I love you,” “Harry, you saved my life,” “Harry, I can’t live without you.” Honestly, it’s creepy. Whenever I see that kind of thing, I wish Pedro were beside me. I can see him rolling his chocolate brown eyes and saying, “Ugh! These people are insane!” I’d just love to pick his brain over it sometime. Maybe over dinner and drinks at Trattoria da Pippo. He went there in 2023.
The effects of celebrity obsession aren’t just psychological. Parasocial relationships can also take a heavy toll on fans’ wallets. Taylor Swift fans will spend hundreds of dollars on endless “deluxe” editions of the same album, and thousands on concert tickets. Meanwhile, the most I’ve ever spent on concert tickets was $200 to see the Cure, Pedro’s favorite band. Sure, $200 is also a lot of money, and so was the $600 I spent on a plane getting to L.A., but it was all worth it for the chance to spend the night in the front row with my back to the stage, scouring the crowd for Pedro’s face as I screamed out his name.
I’m not trying to be judgmental about parasocial relationships. I just can’t relate. The crux of the matter is you don’t know these famous people, no matter how many movies, interviews, podcast appearances, Narcos episodes set to slow motion, or shaky, raw footage from 2014 Game Of Thrones Comic-Con panels zoomed in on their face you may have watched.
Isn’t that right, Pedro? I can picture him vigorously nodding his head right now.
Parasocial relationships are ruining fan communities too. Online fandoms used to be a fun, open-minded place where people could make new friends and express themselves. Now, these “stans,” as they proudly call themselves, seem to think they can read their favorite celebrities’ minds. The other day, a bunch of these crazies ganged up on me to claim that the things I was posting in our forum would make Pedro “feel unsafe.” Uhh, I’m sorry. How would you know how Pedro “feels”? Have any of you basement dwellers even met him? I have. Nine times. Three times outside red carpet premieres, twice by following his limousine, and four times through window panes as he stood alone in his kitchen, drinking a cup of tea.
Ten times if you count the police lineup.
Maybe I’m being unkind. It’s important to have empathy for others, especially for those who may be struggling. It’s likely many of these fans simply don’t have friends or family members they feel close to in real life, and sadly, parasocial relationships seem to have filled that space. That’s why I’m ultimately so grateful to have Pedro in my life, sending me messages through the screen of the jailhouse TV.
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