HOUSTON—Paralyzed with fear at the unexpected sight of the miniature figurine, Houston Rockets forward Kevin Durant reportedly screamed in terror Tuesday after unexpectedly coming face-to-face with a bobblehead version of himself. “Who…who are—what do you want from me?” said the visibly trembling 15-time all-star, who nervously backed away from the tiny novelty doppelgänger as it stared in unblinking silence, its head nodding in a slow, chilling rhythm. “Speak, impostor! Why do you have my face? What are your intentions? Please, just don’t hurt me. I-I-I can give you money if you want money. Or anything else! God, please, just let me be.” Witnesses later confirmed that a blood-covered, knife-wielding Durant had wandered into a team meeting and muttered, “The other Kevin made me do it,” to no one in particular.
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