Originally a Catholic feast day for the patron saint of Ireland, St. Patrick’s Day has evolved into a global celebration of Irish heritage and culture. The Onion presents a historical timeline of the holiday.
432 A.D.
St. Patrick kicks all the snakes out of Ireland for failing to meet the three-drink minimum.
521
St. Brigid of Kildare invents the puke and rally.
1721
First known uttering of the phrase “You think you’re better than me?”
1845
Millions of Irish immigrants come to America, where they were oppressed too, you know.
1876
Guy with a pinching fetish gets involved.
1890
Guinness begins bottling factory floor runoff to send to America.
1963
John F. Kennedy proves that the Irish aren’t all lucky.
1970
McDonald’s debuts the original corned-beef–flavored Shamrock Shake.
1989
Bagpipes decriminalized.
1999
Erin and Johnny break up and get back together four times in the same bar.
2007
The popular girls all wear matching green Abercrombie polos to school.
2015
Entire city of Boston arrested for public urination.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: theonion.com
