Gas prices are soaring, with the price of crude oil rising above $119 per barrel at one point Thursday. The Onion shares tips for saving money at the pump.
Remove unnecessary weight from your vehicle, such as airbags, doors, and bumpers.
Driving in reverse uses less gas, probably.
Limit braking to weekends.
Make a tank of gas stretch the whole week by cutting it with lentils.
Live in one of the three walkable U.S. cities.
Alternate which kid goes to school each day.
Remember, a gurney rolling downhill is more fuel efficient than an ambulance, and faster too.
Consider switching from a gas-guzzler to a more efficient, environmentally friendly country.
Buy and store as much gas as you can right now before all those other selfish assholes start hoarding it.
Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: theonion.com
