CINCINNATI—With their adult child watching in silence as they bickered openly in front of patrons at the Park Diner, local parents Steven and Lorraine Helms were reportedly disagreeing Tuesday about how Dad likes his eggs. “No, I tried making them over-hard that one time, and it ruined your whole day, remember?” said Lorraine Helms, who pointed out to the stressed-out server attempting to take the family’s order that her husband had eaten his eggs the exact same way for the past 40 years. “You have liked a good runny yolk since as long as I’ve known you. I also don’t think ‘poached’ means what you think it does. Here, let’s get your sister on the phone. She’ll agree with me.” At press time, sources confirmed that while the couple had reached an agreement on how to order Dad’s eggs, the argument started all over again when it came to whether he liked home fries or hash browns.
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