WASHINGTON—Gleefully strapping the protective garment under their chins and clapping, the U.S. populace announced this week that they like it when their bib has a picture of the food they’re eating. “Yay, our plate has lobster, and the bib has lobster right on the front, and now we won’t mess up our shirt,” said 61-year-old York, ME, resident Brandon Mena, who echoed the sentiments of 340 million Americans who enjoy pointing at their meal, then their chest, then their meal again. “Look, look, look. That’s the food on our bib. They are the same. They match. See? It makes the meal feel like a big special party. We should get bibs with a pizza picture!” At press time, the nation had reportedly attempted to eat their bibs.
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