KENT, WA—In an effort to attract new customers by generating more enthusiasm for space tourism among the general populace, civilian spaceflight operator Blue Origin confirmed Friday it had launched the world’s largest ball of twine into orbit around the Earth. “Many people who find the idea of space travel exciting are disappointed once they realize it’s a cold, endless vacuum, so we thought they’d appreciate the opportunity to take some fun family photos while they’re up there,” said CEO Dave Limp, adding that Blue Origin was banking on the success of “star-side attractions” like the 10-foot-tall ball of twine his company recently purchased from residents of a small town along U.S. Route 24 in Kansas. “Assuming this twine ball proves popular, we’ll expand the project so tourists looking out the window of their suborbital space capsule can see a Paul Bunyan statue, an upside-down replica of the White House, a beer-can museum, the boyhood home of Mark Twain—you name it!” Sources confirmed Blue Origin also plans to add a new revenue source by forcing all passengers to pass through a gift shop on their way back to Earth.
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