Commissar Burnham Vows Council Tax Increases For Everyone

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Commissar Burnham, who is seeking to oust Comrade Starmer has been gaining support in Labour heartlands up north. One of his pledges is to bring in more tax on the population and abolish all private property and wealth in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain.

“Comrade Starmer is not communist enough. He is barely reaching the levels of Marxism I have already reached. Yes, he wants to transition the PRSB from socialism to communism, but comrades, I put it to you, he is taking too long to complete this task.

“Under my leadership we will increase council tax and all other taxes to levels where no one will hold private wealth in the country. Labour is anti-aspiration, anti-wealth, and I seek to speed up the transition to full communism.

“We will build council houses everywhere by the million. We will re-nationalise all utilities. We will ban wealth creation or working for profit.”

Commissar Burnham was greeted with great cheer from his Labour supporters, who will make sure he is put into power soon.

Comrade Starmer has not been seen in public for over four weeks now. According to the Big State’s Ministry of Information, Comrade Starmer is safe in his bunker at a secret location.

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