ST. LOUIS—Immediately ruining decades of graceful maneuvering to avoid discussion of the specific details of her upbringing, area woman Marissa Allen’s accidental mention of her guest house Thursday reportedly blew years of subterfuge to conceal her family’s wealth from friends. “No, no, it’s really more of a pool house, actually,” said Allen, unsuccessfully attempting to walk back the momentary slip that completely burned years of precisely worded text messages, emails, and conversations about her family life. “We honestly just rent it out as an Airbnb most of the time—you know, for extra passive income. Plus, we converted most of the guest house into a stable for the horses. I promise I’m middle-class just like you guys. Upper-middle-class at best.” At press time, Allen was heard frantically attempting to rebuild her humble, down-to-earth image by clarifying that her family owned a very modest castle in the Swiss Alps.
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