PITTSBURGH—Attempting to soften the blow with a promise to go out for ice cream later, local parents Dylan and Olivia Barnes reportedly sat their children down Monday for a difficult discussion about moving to the ad tier. “I know change is hard, but Mommy and Daddy had a long and serious talk, and we think the best decision for our family is moving to the ad-supported plans,” said Barnes, who assured her 9-year-old daughter that she’d still get to see her favorite characters, but that she’d also be meeting some brand-new company mascots. “We love our current Netflix tier, and maybe we’ll be back some day, but right now we need to move to a more affordable plan. Let’s think of it as an adventure—there are so many fun pharmaceutical ads you guys haven’t seen yet! And we’ll let you pick out a brand-new avatar. Won’t that be great?” At press time, sources confirmed the children had burst into tears after their parents mentioned the word “Tubi.”
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