CHICAGO—Saying the man promised visitors access to the “real show,” onlookers confirmed Thursday that a guy outside the Barack Obama Presidential Center was selling cheaper tickets to something called “Barry’s Magical Experience.” “Why waste your time at a freaking snoozefest library when I’m offering no lines to enter the wondrous world of old Barry O. for just 12 bucks a pop,” the bearded, sweaty man said as he ushered tourists onto a dented sprinter van with “PODUS [sic ] Express” emblazoned across its side. “Come on, folks! Over this way. We got hot dogs, games for the kiddies, and a life-sized cutout of Mr. 44 himself with a speaker in the mouth hole to tell you all about his big, important life. Be sure to stop by Shelly’s Corner to learn all about his old lady and how she did a bunch of first lady stuff. Barry’s Magical Experience has over five trailers worth of fun for any American who wants to enjoy the legacy of our great former president without spending an arm and a leg.” Chicago police later confirmed they had apprehended the man after dozens of tourists accused him of abandoning them in an empty lot.
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