‘Everyone starts calling you grandma’: What it’s like being the oldest or youngest in year 12

While her year 12 classmates drive to school, sip Vodka Cruisers and vote, 16-year-old Angelina Sidhu will be watching on.

Angelina, who was born in July and was enrolled in kindergarten at age four, is entering her HSC year as one of the youngest in her grade. It is a trajectory her family is now repeating with her four-year-old nephew, Aviraj Dhaliwal.

As Aviraj prepares to start school at the same tender age, his mother, Harleen Kaur, said any hesitation vanishes when she looks at Angelina, who is her younger sister.

Kaur says her son – who introduces himself as he writes the alphabet on his magnetic sketch pad – reminds her exactly of Angelina at the same age. “They both adapt, observe and pick up on things very quickly,” Kaur said.

Deciding whether to start school early or wait an extra year remains a perennial dilemma for parents. To see how that choice plays out long term, the Herald sat down with year 12 students across the age spectrum.

In NSW, a child can begin kindergarten at age four if they turn five before July 31, and must be enrolled by their sixth birthday. That rule allows for classroom age gaps of up to 19 months.

Angelina and her nephew are a minority in NSW. State data shows more NSW parents are waiting until the year their child turns six to send them to school.

The proportion of students starting aged five or younger declined from 78 per cent in 2011 to 69 per cent in 2024, department data shows. In contrast, those turning six by July rose from 19 per cent in 2011 to 28 per cent in 2024.

Angelina shrugs off the age divide. “It didn’t make a difference for me, I never felt like I was less mature than anyone else. I think it was actually really great that I started off early because I am able to finish school earlier and get a head-start.”

She notes there are disadvantages: she got her driver’s licence later than her peers and won’t be 18 until she is in the middle of uni. Still, she isn’t fussed. “My friends aren’t the biggest party people anyway,” she said.

At the other end of the spectrum is Grainne McCloskey, 18, who recently finished classes at Mercy Catholic College in Chatswood.

Grainne started school at four and was initially the youngest. She remembers “always feeling weird” having to explain she was a year younger than her classmates.

Her mother decided to repeat her, making her the oldest student in her grade.

Grainne is glad she repeated. She got her driver’s licence and turned 18 before any of her peers. She has been able to go out drinking and clubbing all year.

Turning 18 before her peers “adds a bit of character”, Grainne said. “Being the eldest in the year becomes a fun joke … everyone starts calling you grandma,” she said.

She said the primary school students who were a year younger were sometimes treated differently. “You would have sporting events, and they would have to go into different groups for their ages. It was confusing.”

By high school, the gap felt more consequential. Her friend, Edie Donnan, born in June, started kindergarten when she was five and a half. She said she appreciated the extra time at preschool.

“I was kind of better equipped to navigate not only learning to read and write and engage with all these new things, but also friendships, managing your emotions when things don’t always go your way and developing independence,” she said.

“It’s not just about being ready to learn; it’s about being ready for the environment in which the learning takes place.”

Her mother, Samantha Donnan, said she opted to wait to send her daughter after her husband’s experience of starting school early. “Starting school early caught up with him. He wasn’t old enough to socialise with his peers in year 12 because they were 18, and he was only 17.

“It catches up with you, and it can be brutal from a social, relationship and emotional development point of view,” she said.

Caitlin Chee from St Catherine’s School in Waverley is also “smack bang in the middle” of her grade’s age range. Born in September, she started school when she was five, turning six, and said she didn’t really think about age that much.

Her mother, Linda, said she knew her daughter was ready for school when she was starting conversations with strangers on the bus. She held her son back as he was introverted. Caitlin however, was “banging on doors” to go to school.

“I think personality and birth order has a lot to do with it,” Linda said.

A University of Melbourne study found that children who started school with two years of kindergarten had language comprehension skills five months ahead of those with one year of kindergarten education.

A 2019 University of NSW study found children who start school a year later than they were eligible to fared better in kindergarten than their younger peers.

Experts say there is no one-size-fits-all approach to starting school. Leading child psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg said: “Parents should decide on readiness, not the birthday.

“The key signs are really about emotional regulation, attention span, their language ability, and how comfortable they are about being apart from their parents.

“Independence with toileting and dressing, all of that stuff kind of matters. Age does not define maturity,” Carr-Gregg said.

Rachelle McMahon, who has been a child educator for 30 years and is the senior manager of education quality at KU Children’s Services, said it was becoming more common for parents to hold children back until they were six, but that the decision was entirely individual.

“It’s not necessarily about reading or writing … It’s more around the social readiness,” she said.

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