There was a time when making friends happened almost by accident. School, university, sport, first jobs – life naturally placed us alongside the same people, day after day, and friendships grew in the background. As we get older, however, those opportunities begin to disappear. Careers become more demanding, families take priority, and weekends fill up with scheduled playdates rather than spontaneous plans. Before long, the friends who once felt like a constant presence are people you only catch up with every few months, then once a year, until one day you realise it’s been far longer than you intended.
For men in particular, that gradual drift appears to be happening at an unprecedented rate. While the idea of a loneliness epidemic has dominated conversations around mental health in recent years, researchers are increasingly warning of something more specific: a growing decline in close male friendships. According to a 2021 survey, for example, just 26 per cent of men reported having six or more close friends, down from 55 per cent in 1990, while almost one in five said they had no close friends at all – a fivefold increase over the same period.
As to be expected, such striking statistics raise an important question. Why, at a stage of life when work, relationships and family responsibilities become increasingly demanding, are so many men finding themselves with fewer people to lean on? And what does that loss of connection really mean beyond simply having fewer social plans?
While that natural movement of adult life is partly to blame, Rita Figueiredo, licensed psychologist and managing director of Dubai’s Peninsula Psychology, also points to the fact that men are frequently socialised to be self-reliant. “Growing up they are rewarded for managing alone, meaning many boys grow into adults who feel responsible for solving problems before sharing them,” she explains. “As adults, many men reserve intimacy and vulnerability almost exclusively for their partner, with whom they share their fears, insecurities and emotional world. Friendships gradually stop being the main place where emotional intimacy happens. In a context of expatriate communities, this becomes even more evident, as people leave behind decades of accumulated friendships and the repeated familiarity that naturally helps relationships grow.”
It is this reluctance to show vulnerability around other men that led Tom Kinsey to co-found Menathon, Dubai’s first male-only fitness support group dedicated to championing men’s physical and mental health while building a community. “When my second son was born, I developed postnatal depression,” he explains. “And while from the outside my life looked great, I convinced myself I had to deal with it alone. It made me realise that most men don’t lack people around them – they lack meaningful connection.” So, while Menathon uses movement as the excuse to get men together, community is the real goal. “Whether it’s running, strength training or simply grabbing a coffee afterwards, it’s about creating genuine friendships where men know they don’t have to carry everything on their own,” he explains.
It’s easy to think of friendship as a nice-to-have rather than a necessity. Yet psychologists argue that close friend ships play a far more fundamental role in our lives than many people realise. Beyond reducing loneliness, they help anchor our identity through the different stages of adulthood. “One benefit that receives much less attention is that friends remember versions of ourselves that current life can make us forget,” says Dr Figueiredo. “The friend from university, the football teammate or the person who spent countless evenings playing GTA reminds us that we are more than our current responsibilities. Without friends, many men slowly become only their different roles in life: the employee, the husband, the single guy, the father, or the provider. Friendship reminds people who they are outside those responsibilities.”
If that all sounds rather bleak, there is some good news. While making friends as an adult may no longer happen by accident, it is still entirely possible – it simply requires a little more intention than it once did. “Firstly, understand that you’re not the only one,” says Tom. “Almost every man who comes to Menathon tells us afterwards they nearly didn’t turn up because they felt awkward. Secondly, don’t think of it as trying to ‘make friends’ – think about joining a community instead. Friendships are usually a by-product of shared experiences, not the objective. Be consistent, too – you can’t expect deep friendships after one event. And finally, put your phone away and be genuinely curious. Ask questions. Listen. Remember people’s names. Follow up.”
As Tom sees it, meaningful friendships are rarely built through one big conversation, but through countless small interactions repeated over time. Showing up regularly, whether that’s for a weekly run, a padel match, or simply a coffee afterwards, is often what transforms familiar faces into genuine friends. After all, while friendship may become harder to find with age, it doesn’t become any less important – or any less possible.
THE BEST MEN’S GROUPS IN THE MIDDLE EAST
Looking to expand your social circle? These groups are proving that making friends as an adult doesn’t have to feel awkward
MENATHON
Co-founded by Tom Kinsey and Dayle Hallam, Menathon brings together men of all ages and backgrounds through movement, conversation and shared experiences. With events in both Dubai and Abu Dhabi, its sessions can attract up to 50 participants for beach runs, strength workouts, dads-and-children activities and, perhaps most importantly, coffee and conversation afterwards. @menathondxb; @menathonauh
THE MAN CAVE PROJECT
Founded by Adil Hussain, The Man Cave Project is aimed at men looking to build meaningful connections alongside personal and professional growth. Through weekly meetups, workshops, co-working sessions, comedy nights, runs and social events across Dubai and Abu Dhabi, members are encouraged to have honest conversations, support one another and develop friendships that extend well beyond the events themselves. @mancaveprojectofficial
MEN OF THE MILE
Dedicated to improving men’s mental health and wellbeing, Men of the Mile combines movement with meaningful connection through regular social events and sporting activities. Alongside its popular padel tournaments, the group organises football matches, hikes, wellness events and informal meetups, creating opportunities for men to build friendships in a relaxed, pressure-free environment. @men_of_the_mile
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Disclaimer : This story is auto aggregated by a computer programme and has not been created or edited by DOWNTHENEWS. Publisher: emirateswoman.com
