NEW YORK—Frantically fluffing pillows and folding blankets in preparation for unannounced visitors, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was spotted tidying up her apartment this week in case federal agents stopped by for a raid. “You never know when you’re going to have sudden company come breaking down your door, and I don’t want anyone to think I live in a total sty when they’re emptying out my drawers and cabinets,” said Ocasio-Cortez, who remarked that it would be embarrassing if an FBI task force came and seized a bunch of dirty clothes that were strewn about on her bedroom floor. “I know it might seem like I’m putting on airs, but the threat of an unannounced search of my home is a great excuse to do a deep clean. It’s just common courtesy to have everything neatly put away in case guests need to find some documents or passports to confiscate when they come over.” Ocasio-Cortez added that she was being extra hospitable by putting some Spindrifts in the fridge in case investigators wanted to expropriate something other than just tap water.
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