LANSING, MI—Urging the public to use the most reliable methods available to submit their vote, election officials across the country warned Monday that a ballot tied to stray cat would likely not arrive in time. “Unfortunately, finding a stray tabby under a car and gently tying your ballot to its tail with a ribbon almost certainly ensures your vote will miss the deadline for counting,” said Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, adding that laying out a few treats in a trail and nudging the animal in the direction of the city clerk’s office would not accelerate the process. “Cats are notoriously distractible, and every minute wasted stalking a moth or snoozing on a patch of sunny pavement increases the risk that your voice will not be heard in this critical midterm election. If you are nowhere near a ballot drop box or even a standard mailbox and have no other alternative, at least select a stray that seems to be in good health and capable of evading coyotes, hawks, and other predators. It is unlikely those animals will assume possession of your ballot and carry it to its final destination.” Benson went on to say that voters with no access to any other method could simply tie their ballot to a balloon, which arrives by the deadline 98% of the time.
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