Alan Carr’s ex husband Paul Drayton has said that people ‘overlooked and dismissed’ him as a ‘nobody’ whilst he was married to the comedian, as he speaks out in his memoir
Alan Carr and Paul Drayton were married(Image: PA)
Alan Carr’s ex husband Paul Drayton has spoken out about everything from alcoholism to navigating a public relationship in his new memoir. The 54-year-old has said he “opened [himself] bare” in his book and revealed that he was treated like a “nobody” by others whilst he was married to comedian Carr.
Drayton and Carr were married in 2018 after 10 years together. The wedding was officiated by Adele and took place in Los Angeles. But in 2022, they announced their separation following Drayton’s conviction for drunk driving.
Drayton said he wrote his book, Ride – Or Die Trying, as he wants people tho hear his “true” story. Included in that was a discussion about how other people treated him during his marriage.
He told PA press agency: “In the past, I think I have been overlooked and dismissed because I’m a ‘nobody’, basically, everyone just knows who I was married to.
“That’s partly one of the reasons why I’ve written the book – I’m not just their ex-husband, I’m my own independent person.” He added that he wanted people to see the “true” him and that he was not just “the alcoholic”.
Drayton also opened up about his childhood in 1970s Sunderland and how he felt about his sexuality at the time. He explained that he would often rush to the dress-up box at school or try his mother’s makeup, but “didn’t want to be gay”, as that was considered “wrong” when he was a child.
He said he felt the need to “suppress” his sexuality and that he would tell himself that he would “get a wife” when he was older so that he could “be normal”. The memoirist continued to talk about the girlfriends he had in his teenage years and how he knew they weren’t right for him.
Aged 17, Drayton came out as gay at his brother’s stag do, having had a few drinks. He came to understand that he had the “courage” to “talk about things more openly and freely” when he’d had alcohol. This, he explained, was the start of his use of alcohol as a coping mechanism for his anxiety.
From there, it became a way to self-medicated his then-undiagnosed ADHD. He described his brain as a “washing machine” and said that when he went to bed, his brain would still be whirring around, so he’d have a hot whiskey and milk to calm it all down. As that started when he was 17 or 18, Drayton said that he had probably been a functioning alcoholic for 20 years – though he also admitted that being a functioning alcoholic eventually turned into being alcohol dependent.
By 2022, he had hit “rock bottom” and was a “broken man”, as he had a brief time in jail for drink driving. He has since been sober. Being sober is daily work, Drayton said, and he was proud of having kept it up over the years.
For more on Drayton’s book, visit: mybook.to/RideOrDieTrying.
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