Albo wanders into Tim Apple’s place to fix the internet

There was something almost The Truman Show-esque about Anthony Albanese’s Californian morning at Apple Park.

The prime minister had travelled to the heart of Silicon Valley to meet Tim Cook – or, as Donald Trump once called him, “Tim Apple” – and spruik Australia’s world-leading crackdown on social media for under-16s.

If only Ed Harris had wandered into shot to tell him the whole thing was a set.

Instead, there was the enormous circular Apple “Spaceship” headquarters with its carbon-sink oak forest across 70 hectares, with olive groves, roaming coyotes, gleaming glass and enough security to ensure the travelling journalists only saw precisely the parts of the $5 billon compound that Apple wanted them to see.

The media pack was briefly allowed inside the foyer for a child-friendly product demonstration of Apple’s latest products, including the new foldable Duo phone. (Just $3499 if you’re curious.)

But the meeting was off limits. No cameras nor photographs, not even pictures of the buildings or Apple employees. The journalists could look, but they could not record. Not even a sighting of the cult leader.

Welcome to Tim Apple’s world, complete with the Steve Jobs Memorial Theatre.

Albanese spent an hour behind closed doors with Cook and the Apple executive team, continuing a relationship that began when the Apple boss called him in June to discuss the company’s new child-safety controls.

Cook had told Albanese the changes were partly inspired by Australia’s world-leading social media age ban, as well as Apple’s own research into the effects of social media on children.

Now the bromance was rekindled at Apple Park. Tech brothers from another mother.

Cook later posted that he was grateful to welcome @AlboMP to Apple Park to discuss the company’s “longstanding commitment to Australia” and its latest innovations to help keep children safe online.

Albanese, who rarely meets a celebrity without an obligatory for a selfie, was even more effusive.

He said it was a “proud moment” to have the head of a company that had “changed the world” recognise Australia’s leadership in protecting children from the negative consequences of technology.

Apple’s new controls allow parents to limit the time children spend on particular apps and devices, restrict who can message them and introduce other safeguards.

There was, however, a rather obvious irony hanging over the morning. As one wag in the journalist pack observed, the scene was a bit like McDonald’s selling shots of Ozempic as part of a meal deal.

Apple is, after all, one of the companies most responsible for putting a powerful computer in the pockets of just about every adult – and an increasingly large number of children.

But Albanese was at pains to say this was not a war on technology.

The iPhone and Apple’s products had delivered “enormous benefits”, he said, while artificial intelligence could improve healthcare, including cancer detection and diagnosis.

The task, in the prime minister’s telling, was to make sure people remained in control.

That argument will be central to Albanese’s international push on artificial intelligence as he prepares for talks at the United Nations.

He also discussed the government’s proposed “My Feed, My Way” reforms, which would give users greater control over the algorithms determining what appears in their social media feeds.

So there was Albanese, inside Apple’s perfectly manicured technological utopia, making the case for putting some boundaries around the machines. All while thanking them for all that they do.

Then, naturally, it was time to leave via the merchandise store. Mugs, pens, notebooks, and water bottles with an Apple logo. Onesies for your loved ones, and a wall of 16 T-shirts to choose from.

In the movie, Truman escapes the simulation. In Cupertino, the tech giant selling the digital poison is now selling the antidote, too.

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