Alleged domestic abuser claimed death threats were ‘just words’

A Sydney man charged with nearly two dozen domestic violence offences has denied choking his ex-wife or threatening her life, telling a court that holding her by the neck was for his protection and that death threats were “just words” she had no reason to fear.

Kirk Osborne, 42, faced Downing Centre Local Court on Monday charged with 20 offences, including eight charges of stalking or intimidating, two charges of assault occasioning bodily harm, two charges of common assault, one charge of choking and sexual touching, and four charges of breaching an Apprehended Violence Order.

He is accused of forcing his ex-wife into another room by the neck, pushing her on the bed, straddling her and grabbing her vagina while accusing her of cheating in the pair’s eastern suburbs’ apartment. The woman told the court she blacked out and woke with bruises covering her neck and body.

Osborne acknowledged he grabbed her neck but said only “held” it to stop her from attacking him. He acknowledged he accused her of cheating and smelling like cologne, but denied sexually touching her.

The court heard he was frequently jealous and angry. Referring to a previous affair nearly two decades ago, Osborne allegedly texted the woman that he would “always have a burning desire to kill this c*unt even though he wasn’t at fault”, that he would “kill any bloke” who went near his family, and allegedly told her he would kill her if she tried to leave the relationship.

Osborne denied the words could have led the woman to be fearful, arguing the verbal abuse was so normalised across the pair’s two-decade relationship that the threats couldn’t be intimidating.

“They’re just words; she had no reason to fear for her safety. If it did intimidate her, my apologies,” he said.

He also said comments captured on video where he told his ex-wife he would lock her in another room if she interrupted a sports match were “tongue in cheek”, asserting that any alleged threats made were in the context of a “toxic” relationship.

Osborne is also accused of creating a fake dating profile for his ex-wife, screenshotting it and posting on Facebook with the caption “[She’s] on Tinder if anyone wants to have a crack”.

Osborne denied creating a fake profile, and said the caption was meant to have the Irish meaning “craic”, to “have a laugh” rather than “attempting to prostitute my ex-wife out”, despite not spelling it the Gaelic way, the court heard.

He also told the court that his ex-wife’s bruises were caused by her “walking or stumbling” into a fridge after he pushed her away, instead of him pushing her directly into it during an argument as alleged by the prosecution.

He is also accused of hitting her head with a beer can at the Ritz cinema in Randwick, hitting her in the back of the head while she cowered on a bed, smashing a glass dish near her feet, brandishing a knife and breaching an AVO by transferring money with a caption that he loved his family.

Osborne pleaded guilty to smashing her phone against a wall after she attempted to film his alleged abuse, and an intimidation charge after texting her that he would “break [her] jaw”. He has also been found guilty of two AVO breaches.

The woman told the court she had felt “tortured” throughout their relationship.

“I was terrified … but I had started to become numb,” she said. “I’ve been so traumatised.”

She first reported the alleged abuse to police in October 2024.

Osborne’s defence lawyer Abigail Bannister argued the woman had “added details” each time she spoke with police, claiming she had “reconstructed” events retrospectively after reviewing the evidence and asserting that it was her memory.

The prosecution argued his denials that his behaviour was not threatening were “illogical”.

Judge Michael Blair will issue his judgment on November 27.

Support is available from the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or the Men’s Referral Service on 1300 766 491.