Satirical News

Eating Disorders: Myth Vs. Fact

An estimated 9% of Americans will have an eating disorder in their lifetime. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding eating disorders.  MYTH: Most...

Ariana Grande Takes Break From Public Life Amid ‘Endless Scrutiny’

Representatives of pop star and actress Ariana Grande announced she is taking a break from public life, citing “endless, ongoing public scrutiny” of her...
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Everyone Needs To Calm   Down, Reports Man Who Accidentally Shot Someone

CLARKTON, NC—Stressing the need to get a grip and think clearly for a second, local man Ryan Kruze, who...

The Onion’s Top State Fair Foods

As late summer gives way to early fall, many Americans will head to the fair and seek out their...

Antichrist Rolls Eyes Throughout  Peter Thiel Lecture

ROME—In addition to crossing his arms and shaking his head as he listened to the tech billionaire spread blatant...

New DNC Fundraising Email Urges Voters To Find Something Better To Do With Their Money

WASHINGTON—Pleading with recipients to use their hard-earned cash more productively, a Democratic National Committee fundraising email sent out Thursday urged...

What To Know About ‘One Night Only’

One Night Only opens in theaters this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film.  Q:...

Truth Social Begins Selling Advanced Access To Trump Posts

Truth Social launched a subscription service allowing Wall Street firms to gain advanced access to Trump’s “market-moving” posts, receiving...