The actress admitted things got so bad during her two-year health battle that she wanted to ‘hand herself into police’
Actress Kimberley Nixon has admitted things got so bad during a secret two-year health battle that she wanted to ‘hand herself into police’. The star of both Death in Paradise and Fresh Meat confessed that her struggles saw her “lose herself”.
The mum-of-one, who has Autism and ADHD, said that the postnatal OCD she suffered after giving birth to her first child in 2020 made her lose her grip on reality.
Kim, 40, revealed that she developed the mental health condition, which sees sufferers plagued with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours, during the Covid pandemic
She welcomed her son via IVF and gave birth during the pandemic – but soon after welcoming him, began to suffer from worrying symptoms.
At her darkest moment, she remembers fearing for the people around her – and being terrified that she could hurt somebody.
Talking honestly on the I’m ADHD! No You’re Not podcast, Kimberley said: “That is the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. Yeah. Not knowing whether I could trust myself for like two years.
“I was like, where have I gone? Where have I, and no one’s calling me by my name anymore. Every time I went to speak to someone, I was just mum. Just mum, mum. I was like, I couldn’t remember who I was. It was really brutal.”
She went on: “At some point I was like, to the point where it wouldn’t, it was like clockwork orange wouldn’t stop. Yeah.
“And I was like, I came downstairs and I just went, I’m gonna go to the police station. And my husband was like, ‘what are you gonna tell them?’ That I could possibly in the future at some point do something bad.”
Eventually, the TV star was diagnosed with perinatal OCD, which can occur during pregnancy, or within the first year after giving birth.
Kimberley went public last June with her double diagnosis of ADHD and Autism, often termed AuDHD, as she shared a collage of snaps of her crying what she called “happy tears”.
Updating her fans in the emotional post, she wrote at the time, “Happy tears. Still processing. Haven’t read the full report yet but… Today I was clinically diagnosed with Autism and ADHD.
“I feel lighter than I have in a long time because instead of feeling like my brain is “broken”, I know now that it was just doing things differently all this time.”
She added: “I want to go back in time and give my younger self a catch and save her a lot of time and heartache but I can’t change anything about how I got here really because then I wouldn’t be me.
“I’ve always shared the ups and downs – so I wanted to share this with the most compassionate and accepting bunch I know – and that’s been you lot over these past few years.
“From the midst of brutal Postnatal OCD through to today’s diagnosis, a lot of you have been with me every step of the way. Thank you, thank you.”
Kimberley played bubbly travel presenter Catrina McVey in BBC series Death in Paradise in 2019. In Channel 4 comedy Fresh Meat, she played one of the main characters Josephine “Josie” Jones, a Welsh student at Manchester Medlock University initially studying dentistry, who often struggled with social pressure and binge drinking.
The actress shares her son with husband, camera operator Cai Howells, her partner of over 20 years.
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