A decade after Paul Daniels’ death, his widow Debbie McGee reveals she’s had boyfriends – but no one has matched his magic. She says: “I’ve had a few boyfriends since Paul died and they’ve been lovely, but they haven’t been serious. I love men’s company and I’ve got male friends. I go out to dinner and we have a good giggle. I love the attention. But so far love hasn’t happened. So, you know, watch this space…”
Meanwhile, Debbie says the legendary magician still plays tricks on her from beyond the grave, by sending her feathers – as a kind of spiritual ‘hello.’ She says: “I feel Paul’s presence everywhere. He’s always with me. I see feathers everywhere and I look and say, ‘oh yeah, you’re with me.’ I love the idea of the feathers and I would love to think it was true that they’re letting you know they’re thinking of you. It’s a comfort.”
Speaking from their marital home in Wargrave, Berkshire, which is still filled with his belongings, she relays her sadness that his scent has now worn off his clothes. She says: “I wasn’t really aware of his smell fading. One day it just wasn’t there anymore. But while his things may not smell of him now, when I look at his suits or his shoes, that’s still him.”
Debbie, 67, worked as Paul’s assistant for 37 years – after meeting at a summer season in Great Yarmouth in 1979 – this included a 15 year run on BBC1, from 1979 to 1994, on The Paul Daniels Magic Show. Marrying in 1988, while they did not have children together, she became stepmother to his three sons, Paul Jr., Martin and Gary.
While she has parted with some of his possessions, she found keeping his things particularly comforting in her early days of grieving. She says: “To be honest, I’ve still got loads, especially clothes. I sold quite a lot of tricks two or three years ago and I’m going to have another sale later this year.
“I’ve given odd bits to the family, but there’s a wardrobe upstairs that’s just crammed with costumes. That’s one of the hardest things – to let go of their things feels like you’re letting go of the person.”
Paul, her husband for 28 years, was diagnosed with grade 4 glioblastoma, the most common and aggressive type of primary brain cancer in adults, in February 2016 and died a month later, on March 17, aged 77. Now Debbie is a patron of Brain Tumour Research and will be calling on the Andy Burnham-led Government to make brain tumour patients a priority and increase research for funding.
She says: “Andy, I know that there is going to be a lot to take on, but please consider brain cancer research. I was horrified to find out that brain tumours are the biggest cancer killer of children and adults under 40, and the treatment hasn’t changed in over 20 years.
“This is why the research is so important. There have been such advances in breast cancer, prostate cancer, which is great, but brain cancer is being left behind. When you’re hit with a diagnosis like Paul was, there’s almost nothing there and you feel helpless.”
When he first died, Debbie was floored. She says: “I expected to be sad and miss Paul, but I never expected the anxiety when he first died of every single decision being mine to make. The guttering needs doing. Paul used to deal with that. I had to learn quickly. After about four years, I suddenly thought one day, ‘gosh you’re stronger than you think’.”
Keen to be financially independent, Debbie asked for work the day after Paul died. She says: “I was very aware that with double acts, once one partner can’t work, the other one very rarely keeps a profile or can keep on working. So I rang my agent and said ‘I need work.’ Soon after a kind producer booked me onto a panto.”
Putting on a brave face came naturally after a lifetime in showbusiness. Debbie explains: “I’ve always had to get ready and go on stage or in front of a camera when something awful is going on. When my dad was dying, I was still doing shows. It’s like, ‘right, lipstick on, smile, get on with it.’”
Since Paul’s death, her output has been admirable – appearing on Loose Women, Celebrity MasterChef, Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, Countdown and taking various panto roles. Complete strangers have also shown her immense kindness. She says: “Older women would come up to me in the street and not say anything, just give me a hug and walk away.
“Even now, there isn’t a day when somebody doesn’t stop me and say, ‘We really miss Paul. We watched your shows’. It’s incredible. You would have thought people would have forgotten.”
Debbie, who is also working on her autobiography, says, despite their chemistry, she and Paul nearly didn’t ‘happen.’ She says: “He knocked me back for years because he thought I was too young.”
Now feeling like she is ready to let go a few more of his things, she continues: “That’s what grief is like. You turn corners all the time and think, ‘Oh, actually, I could get rid of a few more things.’ My life is becoming mine now. But he will always be a part of it in some way.
“I’m getting on with life and happy again. I have got to a position now where you just accept they’re never coming back, and how lucky I was to have had him in my life. Lots of people don’t have what I had. You know the old saying, ‘grief heals in time?’ They don’t believe that anymore. They believe your grief stays as big as it was the day they die. But you have to create a bigger life around it. And that’s what I’ve done.
“I say yes to everything, I keep myself really busy. With work, looking after my mum because she’s 89 now, seeing family, having friends over. That’s what brings me joy.”
And she now ranks officially as a ‘national treasure.’ She says: “On the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee parade invitation, it did say, ‘We’d like to invite you as a national treasure.’ That was the first time anyone had ever said it. So maybe it’s official.”
When Debbie finished as runner-up with professional partner Giovanni Pernice on Strictly Come Dancing in 2017 – later winning the 2019 Christmas Special with partner Kevin Clifton, she says Paul gave her the confidence to compete. Debbie says: “Before every live show, I used to say, ‘darling, sit on my shoulder. I need some confidence.’”
Her biggest boost came from women’s reaction to her dancing. She says: “Women were coming up to me in the street and saying, ‘we really thought we were over the hill and now you’ve made us realise we can do anything.’ Eighteen-year-olds said, ‘we want to be like you when we’re your age’.”
Inspiringly positive, Debbie still thinks there’s a chance she will find love again. She says: “I’m really happy on my own. But I’m not saying ‘no.’ I could walk into a room tomorrow and suddenly see somebody that I instantly fall in love with. I think that can happen because it certainly did with Paul.
* For more information visit www.braintumourresearch.org
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