Liliana Myers says she has also been told to stop ‘crying all over Facebook’
When Hairy Biker Dave Myers died aged 66, two years after being diagnosed with cancer, he left behind his devastated wife Liliana. The two had been married for 13 years and in a tribute announcing his death it told how she and her children, who Dave “loved like his own”, had brought the star “such happiness”.
Two years on Liliana is keeping his memory going with regular posts on Facebook which she says she does to help people navigate grief, loss and pain. She often lays bare her own emotions, talking of how his death has affected her in the hope it will make a difference to those in a similar position to herself and her family.
However now she has responded to “address some interesting views” that have been posted on her page. She said these had told her she should “get on with life” and stop “crying all over Facebook.”
Saying she was not there to “judge” the people behind the comments, she added she wanted to “make one thing clear”. She said: “My posts are not written for everyone. They are written for people who are going through one of the toughest periods of their lives.
“For people living through loss. For people facing uncertainty. For people who are angry, frightened, exhausted, confused or in despair. For people trying to adjust to a life they never asked for. And most importantly, they are written from a place of grief.”
Liliana added while she had been studying grief her posts were based on her own experiences. She explained, saying it was: “The kind of grief that changes you. The kind that follows you into ordinary moments, sits beside you in silence, catches you unexpectedly and makes you realise that the life you knew no longer exists in quite the same way.
“I write about grief because I live with it. I write because sometimes putting words to something is the only way I can make sense of it. Because grief has so many faces — sadness, anger, fear, guilt, loneliness, disbelief, exhaustion, even moments of peace — and none of them make the grief any less real.
“I have experienced enough of it to know that there is no simple instruction to “get on with life.” You do get on with life. But you do it with grief.
“You learn to carry something you never wanted to carry. You learn to live around an absence. You find a way forward without pretending that what happened didn’t change you.”
She insisted she didn’t do it because she wanted to stay stuck in grief or wanted pity – or even because she believed grief should define the rest of their lives. She added: “I write because somewhere behind a screen there may be someone sitting alone, feeling something they cannot explain, wondering whether they are the only one who feels this way.
“Maybe they need to know that someone else understands. Maybe they need words for something they haven’t been able to say themselves. Maybe they simply need to be reminded that grief doesn’t have a timetable, and that there is no shame in still feeling it.”
She ended by vowing to keep on going. She said, “If my words aren’t for you, that’s perfectly okay. But they may be exactly what someone else needs today. And for those people, I will keep writing.”
Dave was half of the popular Hairy Bikers cooking duo, along with Si King. The pair, who both sported beards, were known for travelling around the UK as well as across the world on their motorbikes, trying and cooking food from different regions.
The two became household names while presenting The Hairy Bikers’ Cookbook on BBC TV together, which started with a pilot episode in 2005, followed by its first full series the following year. Later series included The Hairy Bikers Ride Again, The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain, The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best, The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure and Hairy Bikers: Best of British.
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