
BOERNE, TX—Providing an underwhelming new dining option for those returning to visit family in the area, people who grew up in a small Texas suburb were informed this week that their hometown had unveiled a disappointing local microbrewery. “You like those IPAs, right? They supposedly got lots of those,” said one family member, revealing that the Tree Ring Brewing Company had a large but disappointing selection of craft beers along with outdoor seating amidst the scenic backdrop of Interstate 10. “And if you’re hungry, they’ve got a full menu of [cooked-from-frozen food with zero vegetarian options]. You’ll love their cute metal holders for tacos. So neat. Plus, this guy you went to high school with plays live music on Thursdays. He mostly does covers [something you’ll be grateful for when you hear his originals]. We can dine a little later because they stay open until 8 p.m.!” At press time, family sources confirmed they would suggest going to the underwhelming microbrewery every single time you were in town.
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