I overheard two execs making fun of employees’ accents and weight. What do I do?

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions about workplace, career and leadership in her advice column Got a Minute? This week: an overheard conversation, setting boundaries during pregnancy and a confusing job application.

I joined an online meeting early and no one noticed. I heard two senior executives ridiculing several employees, joking about one person’s accent, another’s weight and a third employee’s mental health leave. Should I expose them, even if doing so may also reveal that I stayed silent?

These executives are showing contempt for people they lead and, especially in the case of someone on mental health leave, a breach of individual privacy. Unfortunately, it is not something you can easily ignore.

I don’t think it matters that you stayed silent when you heard what was said; that is a normal reaction. I do think you should say something – you can use a whistleblower or speak-up line if you have one – so make sure you keep an accurate record of what was said, when and by whom.

If you don’t have a formal way of reporting this sort of behaviour, report it to someone with authority and is outside these executives’ reporting line if possible, like a board member or HR leader.

Also be sure to keep what you heard confidential from your other work colleagues. These comments shouldn’t become office gossip. Ultimately, responsibility for the outcomes of what you heard must lie with the people who said it.

I am a senior leader, and since falling pregnant, I feel sick and exhausted. I am usually a workhorse, regularly operating at 150 per cent and getting good results, and have done this for years without complaint. But now, I just don’t want to work that way any more.

Unfortunately, my colleagues seem to be reacting badly to the sudden shift. Now that I’m setting boundaries and doing what is reasonable rather than constantly pushing myself, I’m sensing disappointment and resentment. How do I handle this without feeling guilty or damaging my reputation as a leader? Is it reasonable to expect people to adjust to my new way of working, even temporarily?

Is it possible you are hyper-sensitive to your own sense of working “less”, and what you are sensing are your fears of what they may be thinking rather than what actually exists? If you have years of hard work behind you, it would only be a true a—hole who would think less of you for slowing down a little while you are pregnant.

There is no doubt others would have loved when you worked at 150 per cent, and I am sure you have picked up the slack for others for years. However, any disappointment they might feel from the fact you are now setting boundaries and managing your work and life in a healthier way is theirs to manage. I don’t think you are damaging your reputation, and if anything, you are a role model to those you lead about how to work effectively, sustainably and reasonably.

Regardless of the reason you have felt the desire to slow down, you have chosen the healthier option. Ultimately, anyone who works at 150 per cent for years on end is going to need to set boundaries or burnout will do that for them. My encouragement to you is not to think of this as a temporary shift, but one that you will be able to incorporate into your life from here on. Your career, your health, those you lead, and your family will be thankful for it.

I recently spotted two government jobs I was keen to apply for. Both ads seemed interested in finding candidates with significant transferable skills to bring to the job, but when I investigated more closely, they wanted someone who has done the same job before. In your opinion, is it worth applying for jobs that seem to have been written for an incumbent?

Before spending too much time on an application, I would call the person running the process and find out whether your assumption is correct. It may just be that the advertisement has been written poorly, in which case it would be worth finding out whether your experience would be considered transferable. If you do apply, make sure you mention your skill set using their language – you want to make sure that the transferability of what you know is as obvious to others as it is to you.

If you find out during the call that they are looking for someone who has done the exact role before, you will save yourself the time of writing an application. You can also ask whether other openings often come up, which your skills may be useful for.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.

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