WASHINGTON—Scratching his chin as he appeared to search for the right words, Vice President JD Vance reportedly struggled to articulate Wednesday what exactly it was that he didn’t love about the baby name “Rohit.” “I like where you’re going with it for sure, it’s just, uh, I was thinking we’d go with something a little more, I don’t know, modern?” said Vance, who frowned and nodded slowly as his pregnant wife threw out several alternative suggestions, including “Arun,” “Vrishank,” “Jeevan,” and “Hassan.” “Hear me out, what about ‘Theodore?’ Now that’s an interesting name. If you really love ‘Rohit,’ we could use it as his middle name. Not on the birth certificate or anything, but like a secret, family-only middle name.” Vance went on to add that he always thought the name “Donald” had a nice ring to it.
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