When it comes to getting under the current administration’s thin skin, Jimmy Kimmel has more arrows in his quiver than simply telling Donald Trump jokes in his nightly monologue. This week, he enlisted drag queen and RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3 champion Trixie Mattel to join the fun.
In a spoof of some conservatives’ greatest fear, Trixie showed up in a library full of children for a little storytime. Luckily, the kids were’t afraid. “Do I scare any of you?” Trixie asked before beginning.
“You just look amazing,” replied one of the kids. “Why would that be scary?”
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“That is so affirming,” beamed Trixie.
Trixie had a stack of potential books for reading, and suggested that the kids choose one together. “This is, after all, a democracy,” she said. “As of this morning, it’s still a democracy. I’m not sure.”
The children considered a few different books, including Who Cares About Elderly People? That selection was met with downturned thumbs.
How about Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich? That subject got a worse response than the old people.
Would the kids like a book by President Trump? A chorus of outright jeers greeted that suggestion. “What about President Trump’s least favorite son?” Trixie asked.
“Noooooo!” the kids responded.
“Listen,” Trixie said. “We have to pay respect because this ghostwriter worked really hard on this.”
And so Trixie began reading a passage from Eric’s book to the kids. “Donald Trump is certainly ‘unconventional.’ He’s certainly not ‘politically correct.’ He also has a heart of gold and is the greatest father a son or daughter could ever have.”
“Okay, I’m going to stop you there,” interrupted one of the kids. “Instead of skipping this page, we should skip the entire book. No, instead, we should skip the entire storytime and just go straight to lunch because I’m pretty hungry right now.”
“I love your style,” Trixie responded. “I have a Lunchable in the back of my car.”
Another kid complained that books are better with pictures, leading the others in a “Picture! Picture!” chant. No problem, said Trixie — Eric’s book does have pictures. Unfortunately, “they’re not that great.”
After Mattel shared a passage in which Eric complained about the unfair treatment his father received, one little girl wanted to say “good job” to Donald for being the President.
“That’s very nice of you,” Trixie responded.
“I would kick him in the (bleep),” countered another girl.
Trixie concluded the lesson with a science experiment, leading the kids outside where an industrial trash shredder awaited. The book might not be very good, Trixie admitted, “but it will make excellent confetti.”
The kids cheered as Trixie suggested they all move on to happy hour. “I have a drink ticket.”
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