Comedian Katherine Ryan has written a second memoir which is hilarious and honest about men, plastic surgery and celebs.
When comedy star Katherine Ryan married her childhood sweetheart Bobby Kootstra, you would think she could be content both in life and her mind. But brutally honest TV star Katherine says despite knowing her boyfriend since her school days she will never completely believe their love will last forever. In short she cannot bring herself to trust men.
In her new book, she writes: “I admit to not trusting men. Not even Bobby. I can’t trust him 100 percent because to do so, I’d have to pretend I’d suffered some traumatic head injury that caused me to forget basic statistics and anecdotal evidence from over 40 years of knowing women who’ve been betrayed by even the ‘nice guys’.
“Women who have been cheated on during their pregnancies; women who invested years in a marriage to a man who claimed to love them, then turned out to be hiding gambling debts, a drug addiction, a whole secret family etc.
“Some men are per formatively offended when I say this, but if they are honest with themselves (or do they lie to everyone) most can ultimately admit that it’s possible for them to be hiding something, even in a happy relationship.”
Katherine, 43, goes on to explain that she believes men sometimes cheat or behave in inappropriate ways at strip clubs and other wild nights out, but then try to play it down by saying it “meant nothing”.
She goes on to argue by contrast when women cheat it is on purpose and normally when they are no longer in love with the man.
Katherine has had men cheat or misbehave in previous relationships which is why she cannot fully trust Bobby. She concludes that in order to control the future “I’ve decided not trusting ANY man fully, not even my husband”.
She added: “Being only 95 percent emotionally safe with Bobby is a survival skill.”
This is just one chapter of Confessions of a Firstborn Daughter which guides us through her life of “six pregnancies, two tours, one facelift and a modern marriage where she’s somehow still doing cognitive labour”.
If you think it is honest and frank, the book continues in this vein about a variety of other subjects, including parenting and Katherine’s approach to plastic surgery and maintaining a youthful appearance.
She writes: “I’m very fortunate to have kept a lid on the whole cosmetic surgery thing, especially now I am in a position to finance too much of it if I wanted to. I deserve a medal just for not having botched myself abroad by now.”
Katherine says she began with some lip injections in her early twenties and breast implants. She then got botox in her thirties and also used filler in parts of her face like her chin, cheeks and jawline.
And she did treat herself to a facelift in December 2025, just eight weeks after the birth of her baby Holland.
Katherine originally planned to use Dr Steven Levine, who she is convinced is responsible for many of the rich and famous as well as celebrities.
She writes she was quoted $176,000 for the op and was considering paying a deposit when Kris Jenner prompting mentioned the surgeon as being someone she used – which meant the price rose to $243,360!
So instead of New York, Katherine traveled to York in the UK and got a facelift done for £20,000 at the Coppergate Clinic.
Baby Holland, and a maternity nurse, went along for the ride so she could breastfeed either side of the six hour surgery.
Afterward she writes she felt the worst of it was over, and “by the worst part I mean the part between 2021 and 2025 when I had started to show visible signs of ageing”.
It means when you see her on stage or on screen, where she has starred in Amazon Prime’s Backstage with Katherine Ryan , BBC Two’s All That Glitters , and Netflix’s The Duchess, she will be looking her best.
On her facelift, she adds: “You’re welcome. Because now when you come to see me on tour and you book a babysitter…you’re enjoying the premium experience that is gazing upon my new face. The stage is elevated and it’s the jawline you deserve to look at.”
The title of the book is based on the idea the firstborn daughters have a unique feeling of needing to be “completely responsible of everything and anything all the time”.
She insists the idea was originally attributed to Birth Order Theory as pioneered by Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud.
But Katherine admits she originally came up with the idea for the book theme as it is a recognised trend on social media on TikTok and is a regular topic of conversation in WhatsApp groups.
She jokes: “I am not smart but not all the books are for smarts, we all want gossip and someone who is indiscrete and was educated in Canada but is trying. The book is a laugh and it is insightful and warm in some places.
“It is chiefly a comedy memoir but I do look into the psychoanalysis of firstborn daughter and why we do lots of things.
“I do think firstborns have been largely parenthesised or are very resilient and hold negative things in and are a fixer. I think to us work is love and we just become the emotional support animals to our entire families.
“If you are in a romantic relationship with a firstborn daughter you don’t have to do a lot but if you could just anticipate any of her needs without being asked, just one, we love it.”
She highlights a number of celebrities who fall into this category of FBD and why they have the train which makes them great.
Amongst those picked out are Maya Jama who she says is “the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in real life” as well as being a brilliant TV host. She also highlights another FBD in Princess Kate who showed “stamina in the face of impossible circumstances” and Lady Gaga who “works tirelessly” along with the likes of Yoko Ono, Bette Davis and Meryl Streep.
Shania Twain is not a firstborn but also gets praised after Katherine worked with her on Canada’s Got Talent.
It turns out Twain is surprisingly down to earth attending pre-production meetings alone in a baseball cap and pink tracksuit. She told Katherine she had “seen her stuff and it was funny” and a new friendship was born.
The pair even drank tequila shots after every Got Talent record.
Katherine said: “I am personal best friends with Shania Twain, she is a second born daughter, but she is an example of a ‘helper at the nest’.
“Her parents tragically died in a car accident when she was young and her older sister already had babies so Shania ascended to a place of authority and became the matriarch of the house and she started singing in a local bar to support her siblings.
“She quickly became their mother and she became Shania f**king Twain. She is little, Ariana Grande size, in her tracksuit with her dog and she is so humble. She stayed in a three star hotel in Niagara Falls that even I was disgusted by. Shania is the nicest most talented woman.”
One of the reasons, mum-of-four Katherine feels she can speak so openingly is how she rose to fame from a time when she was a young single mum growing up in Canada with her eldest Violet and realising the important things in life.
Katherine told the Cheltenham Literature Festival: “I don’t expect everyone to be as provocative as I am but when I had nothing I had everything, I always say that.
“Violet and I were on the breadline and in danger and that was when I realised nothing really matters as long as your children are healthy. It was such a liberating discovery and makes you so vocal.”
To that end, Katherine also didn’t flinch when she was asked what it was like being a millionaire.
She added: “I know the rules it is gouache and uncouth to talk about money but because women especially just got money, it is provocative and so unladylike, I lean into unlikable things.
“It is really important to be financially literate and I am speaking to the single mother I was – ‘I can’t believe we did it!’.
“HMRC has me by the absolute nuts. I am never going to be rich rich, but I am comfortable and I own property. I never thought I was going to make it and the firstborn daughter in me didn’t want to return to Canada with my tail between my legs. But it worked out for me.”
Confessions of a Firstborn Daughter by Katherine Ryan is out today published by Blink Publishing.
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