Larry David feels sorry for his daughters who have to suffer from his lineage, but it could always be worse — they could be the kids of some Arizona gentiles.
From a purely biological perspective, there doesn’t seem to be very much wrong with the genome of the Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld creator. David is a healthy 75 years old, he’s 5-foot-11 and, save some signature male pattern baldness and a mild vision issue, he doesn’t appear to be suffering from any serious heritable issues that could endanger his offspring. Then you watch an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and you wonder whether his neurotic, cantankerous nature could possibly be the result of conditioning and not due to some deeply-engrained grouch gene passed down from generation to generation.
Last night, David appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers where he spoke to the host about his daughter, actress and screenwriter Cazzie David, and the comedy icon lamented the lasting impact that his genes will have on his progeny.
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“I can’t even believe that I’m a father,” David told Meyers. “I can’t believe that I was allowed to procreate!”
“How can they let someone like me be a father? It’s insane!” David exclaimed, before asking his host, “Shouldn’t there be some sort of psychiatric evaluation before they allow someone to have children?”
Meyers answered, “It’s even worse, because they let you do it twice! First one, shame on you, you know what I mean? But to let it happen twice, you wonder what this government’s even doing!”
“They have my genes, those poor kids!” David wailed. “How can they live? I feel so sorry for them, and so ashamed!”
To many parents, this kind of shame and anxiety about the affect that they’re having on their kids would often be accompanied by a better understanding of what their own parents went through, but not for David. When Meyers asked David if the experience of raising two daughters who are doomed to continue his legacy has softened his appraisal of how his own parents raised him, David said simply, “No, not really.”
“My mother, nothing to brag about,” David dismissively admitted, adding that, when he told her about his career aspirations as a comedian, she told him, “You’re not funny, Larry! You’re not funny! Why do you think you’re funny? Whoever told you that you were funny?”
While David’s two daughters were undoubtedly blessed to grow up in a family with Seinfeld-level wealth, the iconic comedy mogul may have a point about his genes being bad news. Based off of both Curb Your Enthusiasm and Mother David’s words of encouragement, shitting on Larry David might be a genetic trait.
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